wedding season here I come...

Earlier this week my dear friend Rebecca (aka. Kenz) asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding (she wrote me a tender note on the INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS Rifle Paper Co. Will you be my Bridesmaid? card - swoon). I am so excited and I know we'll have a blast celebrating this joyous season together, but can I be honest for just a minute and say that weddings have a distinct way of making me (us?) feel incredibly insecure. Being a bridesmaid can reach into the depths and dredge up the worst feelings I've ever had about myself. As soon as I saw the front of the card my brain immediately went to dresses and if they would fit and flatter, if they'd even have my size, if the number on the tag would be a devastating blow to my self-esteem. With that thought firmly planted, I moved onto contemplating the other bridesmaids and how pretty they may be. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but fending off that enemy is an incredibly hard battle to fight and often I lose. Wedding days involve hundreds of pictures that will likely adorn the walls of a dear friend for years to come and I do not want to be the girl that ruins them all with my diagonal chin. I know I can have beautifully painted nails, but that just doesn't seem like the most valuable beauty trait on wedding day. I'm sure that for weeks leading up to the wedding I'll be doing hair-trials and testing different makeup combinations to ensure I look the very best I can. On wedding day, I will walk down the aisle with as much confidence as I can muster and hope that the photos turn out well, but I will have to squash that little seed of doubt repeatedly. And I hate that. I hate that I (we?) give in to all that. Kenz didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid because she thought I would look pretty in her pictures, she asked because we have shared life together, because we are friends that have laughed through great adventures and cried on hard days, we have made memories and been a constant presence throughout the current season of life - and THAT is not based on looks. We are so much more than what size dress we wear, how good our hair looks, or how perfectly our makeup is applied. This wedding season, I'm going to do my darndest to embrace the beautiful I know I am, I'm going to take pictures with Kenz and my Gan (she is also a bridesmaid, HELLO GOOD TIMES) and cherish the memories without letting the little seed of doubt steal my joy. I am going to overcome my inner critic and just celebrate...WEDDING SEASON HERE I COME!