a goodbye I just wasn't ready to say...

When I was a sophomore in college I fell in love with Grey’s Anatomy. Each Thursday night I would cuddle up on my dorm room bunk bed under my ridiculous yellow gingham comforter and spend an hour with the Chief and Bailey, Derek and Meredith, Izzy and George and Cristina. I watched as bombs exploded and trains collided and Denny died and the haunting harmonies of my very favorite musical melodies serenaded in the background. Songs like “chasing cars” and “breathe” quickly moved into the most played positions in my iTunes library. For Christmas one year, my dear friend Gan and I gave each other Grey’s Anatomy scrubs and calendars. We were what you would call die-hard fans. Years later when college was far behind us we went adorned in those fantastic scrubs as Dr. Meredith Grey and Dr. Cristina Yang to Rachel’s epic Halloween party. My mom took to calling Grey’s my “smutty show” - literally everyone knew exactly where I would be on Thursday evenings - home - transfixed - watching ABC. Summer 2007 while changing the world, Emy and I spent countless hours in the backseat of our Yukon driving cross-country headphones plugged into the laptop watching Grey’s on DVD. For the last 10 years, from where I stand, it’s been a pretty real truth that almost nothing makes anything at least a tiny smidge better like an episode of Greys (especially if you throw it back to Season 2).

So you can imagine, last night after a ridiculously hard day when my head was pounding and I was just so ready to be done, that a brand new episode of Grey’s sounded like an absolute dream. However, the sobs shook my being from deep within when after 10 years (and a truly hideous quantity of hours spent together) McDreamy was lifeless and still, battered and bruised, connected to countless machines as his only means of sustaining life. Meredith stroked his beautiful pale face and told him he could go as I whispered “no, no, no” from the privacy of my own bedroom as tears streamed down my cheeks. And then, Derek died. He is gone. I wasn’t ready - I will NEVER be ready. I know the day will come when Grey’s will end (and truth be told, it should have happened a long time ago) but I love my friends at Seattle Grace, Seattle Grace Mercy West, Grey Sloane Hospital - and I’ll forever be willing to spend a Thursday night cozied up on the couch with them…it just feels right.

let me be your star

Grey's Anatomy is undoubtedly my very favorite television show of all time. However, I have been called a television athlete at least a time or two by those who know me well...because I have A LOT of shows, perhaps even a lot of favorite shows. That said, SMASH will go down in history as one of my all-time-faves! I am still sad that it was cancelled after only two extraordinary seasons. I knew when it got moved to Saturday nights that things were looking stark, and I was right, at the close of the season, the lights on this Broadway inspired phenomenon went out for good.

The series began in February of 2012 and was officially cancelled on May 10, 2013...almost an entire year later, my Spotify STILL opens to "The Music of Smash" and more often than not, you'll find me at my desk plugging away, while being serenaded by showtunes. I'm SUCH a Broadway nerd!

Anyway, that's my random thought for the day...that and that if I ever get the chance to stand behind the curtain, to experience the moment before it all begins, where a theatre is transformed into an alternate universe and literally anything is possible, THAT will be a dream come true! I will forever crave the splendor of live theatre! There is just something in it that makes my heart beat a little faster in the best possible way!

it's raining men...hallelujah

Just kidding, I am as single as ever - but it is raining which is a wonderful and glorious occurrence. There is something so perfectly alluring about heavy droplets of water splattering on the brick facade of our antiquated building in historic downtown Santa Ana. It is going to make walking to lunch with Shannon and Sienna a bit grotesque, but overall I just love watching the cascade through the window.

In typical Friday fashion, here are some of my very favorite moments from the week...

We had an unanticipated plumbing issue that drastically changed my plans for the weekend. However, it did allow me some down-time that was greatly appreciated in the long-run. I used the hours cuddled up on the couch immersed in an absolutely fantastic book. I finished The Fault in our Stars in a single day and absolutely loved it. I don't think I could tell you the last time I spent hours in a work of fiction, but I plan to do it far more often in the future.

Sunday I headed to San Diego to see my parents and spend some time with Anna. Anna and I went to Charming Charlie where we tried on approximately 20 pairs of hideous sunglasses that claim to be "on trend". We both came home with the same ($9) pair and according to the quantity of likes on instagram, they were a good choice. I think they're hilarious and I'm still not sure I have enough sas to pull them off!

Monday AND Tuesday were Bachelor nights this week. I honestly can't even believe I'm still watching the show since it is one episode of pathetic after another. However, there was a forecast for lots of tears and that typically makes for entertaining television. Unfortunately, it was all a ruse. At the end of the FOUR hours of total numbness, I don't like Juan Pablo any more than I did before, and I lost all respect for Andi who is slated to be the next Bachelorette. Do you think that will stop me from watching it, NEVER!

Wednesday I had breakfast with the gorgeous Mindy Taylor and we discussed her upcoming nuptials. Mins and I have breakfast at Kimmie's Coffee Cup about twice a month. We used to order oatmeal with blueberries. Delicious. However, we have since wised up and we are ordering full-on-breakfast. Let's be honest, if I'm gonna get up and be at a restaurant around 7:00am I want real food (especially since the cost is virtually the same)! We are GENIUSES Mins!

Finally, as pathetic as this is, a favorite reality of the week is that THIS is the week network television returned in all it's glory. 2 Broke Girls, Chicago Fire, Modern Family, Nashville, Chicago PD, Grey's Anatomy, Parenthood and SO MANY MORE I have missed you and am so happy you're back in my home! According to one of my best friends, I am a television athlete - I wear my title proud!

This weekend is THE OSCARS so you're sure to see me with a chocolate covered strawberry in one hand a some bubbly in the other! I cannot wait for the most anticipated Red Carpet of the season and the Award Show of ALL Award Shows! Plus Ellen Degeneres is the host. THIS IS GOING TO BE EPIC!

they're my people...

Tonight "my people" return to network television after a hiatus that was far too long! I have been watching Grey's Anatomy since my sophomore year of college...I have been a devoted friend, dedicating each Thursday night to spending quality time together, shedding tears over traumatic life events including a horrific bombing, a train crash, being hit by a bus, a plane crash, the cutting of LVAD wires, falling in love, loosing love, getting married, having babies, adopting a baby, loosing a limb, building a house, being held at gunpoint, being electrocuted, having brain surgery, a complete emotional breakdown, cancer, several deaths, lots of weddings, and even more. We have danced in our underwear through the seasons of life and somehow survived it all. My mother calls it my smutty show, but I say it is a little slice of happiness. Tonight you'll find me cuddled on the couch with a Weight Watchers 1-point GIANT Chocolate Fudge Ice-Cream Bar in hand waiting expectantly for an evening of entertainment with some of my very favorite fictional characters. Grey's Anatomy - I will forever love you!