WE CAN BE HEROES

Over the weekend I had the amazing privilege of serving alongside a team of HEROES as we led Teen Leadership Camp 2019. I am overwhelmed by gratitude and truly rejoicing in an incredible weekend of laughter and freedom for a group of teens who so often feel overlooked, unseen, or simply unwanted. Their hearts are beautiful and they have learned strength and bravery as they have endured unthinkable circumstances. They have CHOSEN to step out of their stories - they refuse to let their past define their future possibilities. They have hopes and dreams and regardless of the many roadblocks and obstacles that appear in their path, they chase after growth and becoming. I admire each of them and consider it a gift to run alongside them.

Camp was a total blur of activity - 

there were sled dogs and flying squirrels (which was hilarious and SO FUN even to watch by the way) 

there was karaoke where virtually everyone did a personal take on bohemian rhapsody 

there was a late night game of capture the flag with a TON of glow sticks 

there was a morning spent on the high ropes course - everywhere you looked there were teens conquering fears and trying to take one more step 

there was craft time and pool time and free time on the soccer field

we had s’more at the firepit and because we had Reeses bars, they were extra delicious

our speaker was incredible and related so well to our teens - speaking truth, and inviting them to meet Jesus

we spent time affirming each other and recognizing the beauty in each person present at camp 

we created abstract art and each took home a piece of the magic that represents this beautiful family 

we ate camp food, praised the Lord for the salad bar, and consumed more snacks than is allowed in normal life 

it was exhausting and dirty and profoundly rich all at the same time

Our theme for the weekend was heroes and I am convinced it was the EXACT RIGHT CHOICE for us. 

Heroes are people who transform compassion (a personal virtue) into heroic action (a civic virtue) and in doing so, put their best selves forward in service to humanity. A hero is an individual or a network of people that take action on behalf of others in need, or in defense of integrity or a moral cause. 

You can be a hero - you can impact a life - and potentially change the world. 

the Jesus I know...

In 2006, I was a junior and a student leader at California Baptist University. I vividly remember the day Soulforce came to campus as part of their Equality Ride. According to an article in Christianity Today that was published on March 9, 2006, “The seven-week bus tour will take 35 gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and straight 18- to 28-year-olds to colleges with behavior codes that Soulforce calls discriminatory.” CBU was one of the schools they visited. As a student leader, I was asked to participate in a panel discussion to hear the stories and experiences direct from the Soulforce visitors, and have conversations aimed at understanding. 

It was one of the most enlightening days of my life up to that point. I was a Christian, but I hadn’t really been asked to wrestle in my faith. I mean, there was this one time in high school when Anna told our friend that he was going to hell because he was a Mormon and we all know that wasn’t the best way to handle the situation, but I had grown up in a conservative Christian family and hadn’t experienced much opposition to my belief system. I didn’t know a ton about homosexuality when the panel began. I knew God created man and woman and I knew I believed firmly in the inherency of Scripture. But as the discussions concluded I understood one thing far more clearly: the church and individual Christians had contributed to deep wounds that were unresolved in the hearts of the people I had met and interacted with that day. I was heartbroken and there was this unsettled sense stirring within me. It led to a resolution: we had to do better because THAT version of displaying the love of Christ was not a reflection of the Jesus I knew.

In 2014 some of the right people believed in me enough to spur me on and set into motion dreams I didn't even dare to fully realize. CHOSEN came to life that year - one of the most beautiful gifts the Lord has ever given me. It has required me to step up and in, to become, to rely on Him, to seek wisdom and find strength to run and then keep running. He has never failed. Right now, 5 years later, I find myself on my knees constantly as I desperately hope to lead well, love well, serve well. I long to shine the light of Christ without wounding. I am stepping out in faith, navigating these very waters with teens I know by name and have walked alongside for years. I want them to see the Jesus I know - I want them to meet Him through me. THIS is what that day was for.  

2006 was 12 years ago now. So much life has happened. Even still I can picture the exact place I sat in that room in the Student Life Center of the Yeager Building at CBU (now there is a Chick-fil-A across the hall - THAT SHOULD FOR SURE tell you things have changed. I can promise you we weren’t swiping our meal cards for a #1 with an unsweetened arnold palmer in MY DAY on campus!). That day my eyes were opened to the hurt that motivated Soulforce to embark on that Equality Ride. That day it was confusing and overwhelming. Today I am abundantly grateful and consider it a gift of God's kindness to me. He allowed me to be present in that room for those conversations. That stirring was appointed and intended for such a time as this.

this is camp.

I am home from camp and there are a million things I want to say and share, but none are really enough. I wish you could really know and understand, but unless you were there, unless you took it all in, unless you were walking it and breathing it all in, it’s virtually impossible to even begin to explain it. You see for me, each of these teens have a name, and a face, and a story uniquely their own. But even in a weekend you cannot possibly KNOW them. And really, the goal of camp is not to hear their stories, but rather to give them a place to just BE - to live OUTSIDE their stories even if only for a brief moment. So many of them have lived in circumstances that are incomprehensible. They are stronger than they should have to be. They have known a side of life that is heartbreaking and brutally unkind. Some are more like parents than kids. Some live in a constant state of chaos and fear. Some have watched the most unspeakable things unfold before them. Many do not know the seemingly ordinary of simple things like sleeping in their own bed, or healthy meals three times a day, or a new pair of shoes at the beginning of the school year. And I would venture to say that most if not all do not enjoy what we might remember as highlights of childhood like slumber parties and having friends over to play. 

So when people ask me what the highlight was from camp this year, it isn’t a deep or significant moment. For me, it was a teen eating an entire pizza Lunchable in one bite and the room erupting in cheers. it is a water balloon game that didn’t work in the slightest - it was utter and complete chaos. But as I stood in the middle of the game, and saw the smiles spread over their faces and listened to the deep and resounding laughter, it was like I was experiencing a small taste of heaven. In those moments, the teens were safe, and loved, and free. They were surrounded by the family of Christ and embraced EXACTLY as they are. They are the same kind of different with the same kind of hard. I wish I could push play on that sound - it was pure joy - perhaps the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. 

I hope that moment will forever be buried deep in my heart and that from there hope and love may spring forth and Praise Him for being a GOOD Father and choosing me to love these amazing teens and writing me into a tiny part of their stories. I know I can never do enough. I cannot write a new story for them, but I pray with all my heart that I can speak truth into their lives and remind them that there is hope for a great future because of the love of Christ and His all surpassing power. I pray I can give them a side hug on a hard day and remind them they are seen and heard and covered in prayer. I pray in a dark moment there is some small piece of their hearts that holds tight and clings to the memories of laughter and remembers that there are people that care because OH MY GOODNESS there are people that care and carry them close regardless of how far away they feel today. 

Club will come again in September and I honestly couldn’t feel more empowered to begin planning and praying and seeking the Lord’s wisdom for what CHOSEN should include. I was overwhelmed as I sat in the circle of volunteers at the closing of camp just before we got in our cars to drive home. I am so blessed to be counted in their midst - to call them friends - to call them brothers and sisters in Christ - to grow with them - to lead them. I am unspeakably grateful and deeply moved by the ways they choose to pour out and invest and sacrifice to shine the light and love of Christ - to go boldly into brokenness and do all they can to mend hurts and restore laughter. 

I know this post is full of words, but honestly, they don’t even begin to say it all. They cannot encapsulate it. It is too big and too much and only the Lord can begin to know. This is my heartbeat and His calling and purpose and passion within me. This is CHOSEN. This is camp. 

23 + 16 + 9 = 1 year of CHOSEN...

Last night we celebrated the first year of CHOSEN. 

It has been an entire year since I stood at our TLC Celebration with a clipboard and begged our counselors to please sign up to be part of club. It didn’t have a name. We didn’t have any idea how many teens would participate. We didn’t really know what it would look like or what we would do. I’m not even sure we had determined a regular meeting day or time.  

Last summer we fell on our knees, there was a whole lot of prayer - asking the Lord for wisdom and direction for this new ministry, to give the caregivers willing hearts to bring their teens to this new club, for teens to be excited to attend, for creative ideas that would be fun, and as we moved toward September, it started to come together…invitations went out, phone calls were made, official plans for our VERY FIRST CLUB were made. 

That first Saturday we arrived and waited in anticipation not really knowing how it would all turn out. The first week we had a total of 7 teens attend - I went home and cried praising the Lord for His miraculous gift and officially allowing us to be a ministry! I really couldn’t believe we did it. 

CHOSEN existed. 

Over the course of this first year we grew tremendously and continued to see the Lord move in our midst… in total our stats are staggering to me…

23 Leaders

16 Teens

1 teen who came to club and had never been to TLC…he came to camp with us this summer for the first time

1 mentor / mentee pair 

9 Club meetings

Games, Crafts, & Celebrations Galore

We learned a lot…

• Costco Pizza is the absolute CHEAPEST way to feed hungry teenagers
• There is no such thing as too much candy
• Our teens actually DO like chili, they just hadn’t ever heard of it before! 
• A game involving shooting KIX cereal out your nose produces a shocking amount of anxiety - ask Lauren Sopp
• 245 Easter eggs really isn’t very many
• Running on a gym floor can have serious consequences - sorry Connie! 
• It’s really all about the Starbucks gift card
• Cheezballs stick to shaving cream JUST FINE
• Don’t ever let a boy hit the piñata first - it’s super anticlimactic when the piñata busts open on the first crack
• Potlucks and homemade meals and sitting at one long table really can make you feel like a family
• When prepping for club, always ALWAYS go to the dollar store - it contains treasure beyond compare
• There is no prize quite like a 1LB. bag of skittles
• Dessert is an absolutely must - whether cupcakes, cookies, ice-cream, or CAKE it will undoubtedly get devoured

There was so much laughter throughout this first year of club and each month I would go home thinking about how it truly is the sweetest sound. As I stood in front of our leaders last night to celebrate all the Lord has done, I felt humbled, honored, and entirely inadequate to express my thanks. So many amazingly dedicated and generous leaders gave up so much time - poured their hearts into club and loved these teens so very well. 

My words feel empty, but the teens are thankful - and their words do hold some weight…their gratitude wrecks me and makes every single ounce of effort worth it. 

“I actually liked every moment I’ve spent at club.” 

“Everything about club was good - all the games were fun, the snacks were good, everything was great. CHOSEN was really awesome!”

“Thank you for club. It made my life so much happier!” 

“I loved coming to every CHOSEN club. It was so fun and I thank all the staff for all the help and support you guys gave us.” 

It’s time to start prepping for year 2…for another chapter in this great adventure - it is full of joy - some tears - and ridiculous fun. Undoubtedly the Lord is at work and I will praise Him loudly for allowing us to spend time with these teens and prayerfully make some small difference in their lives by shining His love and reminding them on a monthly basis they are loved and CHOSEN by God and by us. This is the good stuff…so HERE WE GO! 

CHOSEN - that's a wrap...

Oh my goodness…CHOSEN year 1 is complete. Done. Behind me. I really cannot even believe it. Over the weekend my hooligans gathered for our final club for the 2014 / 2015 academic year. Next month we will spend the 3rd Saturday of the month together AT CAMP! WOOHOO! 3 whole days of laughter and craziness, games galore with more prizes than you can imagine including deliciousness like ring pops and sour patch kids, fun dips, pop rocks and nerd ropes in abundance, camp food, matching t-shirts, high ropes and low ropes and zip lines, stories and huddle times, and an EPIC variety show. Seriously camp is my favorite weekend of the summer.

BUT, back to CHOSEN. In September when we launched club, I remember being a jittery excited mess. I couldn’t wait to see our teens, but I also didn’t have any idea what we were in for. I didn’t know how many would come or if they would have a good time even if they showed up. Long story short, over the course of the year, we had 17 teens total that participated in club, one of whom will be joining us at camp for the very first time this summer and we are SO THRILLED to have him! He has absolutely become one of us! In our time together, we played a lot of games, made crafts, ate a lot of food and copious quantities of desserts, talked about some really heavy stuff, reminded each other often that we care and are here to support and encourage one another, celebrated holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays, grew up a lot, learned even more, and truly became the embodiment of this concept of family.

To say these teens own a special place in my heart would be an understatement. It hasn’t been perfect and there is so much we could do better. However, I see God’s faithfulness written on everything we have done and become. There is so much hope and potential for what is to come in year 2. My mind is literally spinning with ideas and possibilities. However, I think for today I will stop and simply sit in the gratitude for all He has done and allowed me to be part of. I would have NEVER guessed that I would be the Director of a club for foster kids at age 30. I had no idea this is what was coming and yet the Lord perfectly paved the road, crafted my heart, opened the doors, and flooded me with the love I needed to embrace every single teen. There is so much to come, but for a little while I want to simply reflect and give Him praise for the incredible gift and work He has done in my heart. What an honor to have space for these teens. The statistics are staggering and there is nothing I want more than to be a positive part of their stories - He has allowed me to be part of crafting a safe space for them - a place where their laughter resonates and they smile genuinely for hours. I have a feeling that the 3rd Saturday of the month will forever be a sacred and special part of my life - and I will forever praise Him for allowing me to be part of that world.

CHOSEN

I guess it’s time to really blog about CHOSEN. I have hesitated because there is SO MUCH to say and so little I can actually share. CHOSEN is a ministry I direct at EvFree Fullerton for teens that have been touched by the Foster Care System. I’ve been a counselor at Teen Leadership Camp for several years and last year I was named “Queen of Fun” and took on the responsibility of all things games and late night craziness. My heart for these kids is HUGE and the Lord has truly revealed a passion for them deep within me. I have known for years that I have the capacity to love kids that aren’t my own. I have prayed long and hard about adoption and truly believe that will be part of my story someday - it’s on the list of “make it or break its” for my husband - he has to be open to our family looking a bit unconventional but being exactly as God intends. That said, it wasn’t until TLC that I considered the possibility that foster care may ALSO be part of God’s plan for my family. Little by little He has used TLC and CHOSEN to deepen my love for these teens, to show me how desperately they need to be loved and how He has gifted me with a capacity for love that is far beyond what I am capable of on my own.

Conversations regarding starting a club for our TLC campers began in early 2014. There is an existing club for the elementary aged students, but nothing for the older kids. We see them for a total of three (3) days a year. And they LOVE camp. One of our teens even describes it as a family reunion. We always long for more time but it just isn’t feasible from a camp perspective - people can’t take additional days off work - the kids often have summer school and wouldn’t be able to extend their stay, there are all kinds of complications. So what about creating a club where the conversations could continue on a monthly basis? A youth-group type club where there are fun activities and games or crafts and food and a message and we get to see our campers all throughout the year? Possible? I SAID YES. CHOSEN officially launched in September 2014 and thus far has been a success story. Each club has brought new students and continued stories of opportunities to speak into and touch the lives of these teens who so desperately need to know that they are wanted.

This Saturday brought our January CHOSEN club - our fifth club thus far. The theme was GAMES GAMES AND MORE GAMES! Each teen and leader was placed on a color team and the teams competed against each other throughout the duration of club. Their first task was to come up with a team name and cheer! These kids are HILARIOUS. We had THE KILLER BEES, THE PALM TREES, BLUE CRUSH, and TEAM SCARED. Overall it was a HUGE success, well other than our fearless staff representative Connie falling within the first two minutes of game play, bouncing on the gym floor, and breaking her elbow that is! We played duct tape tag, marshmallow dodgeball, launched KIX cereal from our noses, shot rocket launchers, emptied boxes of tissues relay style, made chocolate unicorns out of ding dongs and heard the story of Eric Liddell and learned that living life for God’s glory is far more meaningful than just trying to win the prize.

To say that I love this ministry and these kids is putting it mildly. This is my heartbeat. I look forward to CHOSEN and put my all into planning and preparing for it. I have no idea what the future holds but I do know that I sincerely hope ministries like this continue to be available for teens who have experienced pain and loss like many of us cannot imagine. They are some of the most incredible individuals I’ve ever met - they are inspirational and I truly respect them for what they’ve come through and hope to be part of their journey for as long as they’ll have me!

CHOSEN...coming fall 2014

I have talked about Foster Kids quite a bit on my blog.
I talk about Foster Kids a lot in my regular life.
The BOLD Truth is : I LOVE FOSTER KIDS!
(whew, it feels good to have that out there in the open!)

For several years I have been involved with Teen Leadership Camp (sponsored by EvFree). TLC is an amazing summer escape for Foster Kids ages 12 - 17. This year I was on the leadership team and played an integral part in planning every detail from ridiculous games to evening activities and AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS snack packs. This summer TLC was fantastic. It was the best camp we’ve ever done (at least if you ask me or Alise!) I was the Queen of Fun and I loved it. However, three (3) days with the kids goes by SO FAST and it is painful to have to wait until the next summer to see them again. We say goodbye on Sunday afternoon and by Monday morning I miss hearing them laugh and wish so badly we could just go back to camp, at least for a few more days!

So…this year we’re going to try something new! Alongside my treasured and super passionate friend Rachel Williams, I am Co-Directing a new ministry at EvFree - CHOSEN - a monthly club (that will loosely resemble a youth group) for teenage kids that have been touched by the Foster Care System. On the 3rd Saturday of every month, we will gather to encourage, support, laugh, eat, and build relationships of trust that hopefully allow these kids to see the love of Christ on a consistent basis. We will get to be part of our campers lives. We will get to see them nine (9) times before we go to camp in June! I am beyond excited. I am ecstatic! I have absolutely no idea where God is going to take this ministry. I am hoping that it is a gift to these kids and that it gives them new hope and the start of a foundation for a future that looks different than the one they may have been born into. These kids are beyond incredible and if I we can be part of their success stories, then glory be to God.

SO...will you come alongside me? Will you pray for me and Rachel and the team of invested leaders who are going to pour into these kids? Will you pray the caregivers will be willing to bring the kids? Will you pray the kids have open hearts and so much fun at CHOSEN that they want to come back each month? Will you pray God provides the speakers, worship leaders, and financial resources for EvFree to support this new ministry? Will you pray opportunities will rise up for us to mentor the kids one-on-one and develop deep and meaningful relationships? Will you pray that God works mightily in ways we can not even begin to ask for?

God can do GREAT things and I trust that He will, I’d love to share the journey with you.
I am sure it is gonna be a whirlwind…and this is just the introductory blog post...HERE WE GO!