the all-time best title in the world!

I cannot explain the joy that is exuding from my heart today. I have been an aunt since June 16, 2008 and it has been the greatest experience of my life. There is absolutely nothing better than loving on and being loved on by my best girl, my little, my M. Madeline Mary Swope introduced me to this incredible role and I will forever love her for that. However, yesterday Charlotte Rose Swope made me aunt to nieces squared - the all time best title in the world.

My dear sister-in-law had a challenging pregnancy with C. At 33 weeks she began having amniotic fluid level issues and was put on strict bed rest. Bed rest is a virtually impossible feat when you have a 4.5 year old and your husband is away at Officer Candidate School with the US Army. She gave it her best and was able to carry Charlotte to 37.5 weeks. I got the call on Sunday afternoon that she was being admitted and sweet C would be here within two days. I immediately packed my bags and headed to San Diego – I was NOT going to miss this. I drove straight to my parent’s house, spent some time snuggling with my first love – M, and then headed to the hospital to wait it out with Jamie. It was my honor to stand beside my sweet sister as she anticipated delivery. I got to brush her hair and hold her hand and pray over her without ceasing, it was an event that has rooted deep in my heart. And then as sweet Charlotte made her way into this world, I got to hold the phone with my brother on the other end and try to give him a glimpse of the amazingly beautiful thing occurring in his life at that very moment.

Charlotte Rose Swope was born November 18 at 10:50pm weighing in at 6lbs. 11oz. and measuring 20in. long. She is healthy and absolutely gorgeous. She is tiny and petite just like her big sister was. She has Jamie’s nose and somehow ended up with blonde hair! She’s the perfect little bundle you can stare at all day and never get bored. I’m in love.

First World Problems...

Last week it rained which ushered in me the most real and enlivened sense of fall. After an early morning client meeting I enjoyed a peppermint mocha (with half the peppermint – have you noticed the intensity of those things if you order them at full strength?), which only solidified the song in my heart. It was time to begin CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! I am a handmade Christmas kind of girl – but I do love to add some store-bought sparkle and I have to do it on a budget, so it was undoubtedly time to allow the store stalking to commence.

My first stop was Pier 1 Imports, but the meat of this story takes place in Nordstrom Rack. I walked in full of high hopes and eager anticipation – I was ready to conquer and just knew I would be knocking some names off the holiday shopping list before the night was through. I perused the jewelry and didn’t find anything that jumped out at me. There were some darling (and oh so brightly colored) Kate Spade wristlets but they were a bit out of my price range, so I moved on. Next up was the smell-good section, which also disappointed.  I decided to use one final surge of searching strength and headed to handbags. There was a gorgeous collection of Kate Spade bags that had already caught my eye and was subtly requesting interrogation. I picked up the softest leather purse in a natural cream with a black and white polka dot interior. I knew in my heart I wanted this bag, but I had yet to glimpse the price. I cautiously reached for the tag trying not to be overly optimistic at the slight sight of a red clearance sticker. In the flashiest of flashes (2 points if you can name that movie) I looked at the price and was ELATED to find it was a mere $79.80 – a ridiculously AMAZING price considering the bag was originally ticketed at $488.00. HOWEVER, it is the holiday season and with much shopping to accomplish for others, I hesitated. I walked around the store several times trying to justify such a purchase. I casually glanced at the bag on my arm at every mirror and confirmed my absolute love. I got in line to checkout. I waited excitedly and then a moment of horror. When the lovely cashier rang it up, it was $179.99. She kindly explained that a Juicy Couture clearance tag had mistakenly been placed on the Kate Spade of my dreams. She felt terrible about it, but did not offer to honor the price. She took the bag away, and I left the store empty-handed and a bit heart-broken.

The next morning I told a co-worker my “devastating” story when I got to the office. She has a friend who just happens to be the manager of that particular Nordy’s Rack. Coworker (who shall remain anonymous) sent a text on my behalf to see if she could get me a deal. Well friends, the manager was LIVID – the cashier absolutely should have honored the sticker price. WHAT A BUMMER! I almost had a blog-worthy deal on a beautiful Kate Spade.

Moral of this story – I didn’t buy a single gift and now I really want a Kate Spade for Christmas…

Sister to Army Nurse Kev...

I am anything but a prolific writer, and I’m a pathetic blogger based on the number of entries I’ve posted in 2012; but the past few weeks, perhaps months have been filled with changes, and I think its time to start putting some of it down on paper.

In June my brother Kevin graduated from Nursing School. I knew his graduation was the beginning of our goodbye. I can remember sitting in the bleachers watching him walk across the stage feeling a surge of intense pride and instantaneous unexplainable sadness. My brother has always wanted to be military, and when he embarked upon his educational career at San Diego State University, he was presented with an opportunity to join the Army and upon graduation serve as an Officer in the Army Nurse Corps. Selfishly there was a huge part of me that hoped he would decide against it, though my heart knew this was a dream realized for him. He accepted. Over the summer he studied veraciously and passed the NCLEX, all that was left was to wait for official orders. They came. On October 7 we said a tearful goodbye and on October 9 he officially began OCS.

He hasn’t even been gone a month and yet that goodbye seems like a lifetime ago. So much was wrapped up in that hug and the handoff of a letter than encapsulated as much of my heart as paper can hold.  I wasn’t just saying goodbye to Kevin as he left for OCS, I was saying hello to a new chapter in my life – a chapter entitled, “Sister to Army Nurse Kev”... a chapter that feels completely incomprehensible to me… a chapter I cannot possibly prepare for and yet one that is an unavoidable reality. It is being written. Kevin will be home in December for approximately two weeks. He will meet his daughter Charlotte (who will be here sometime soon) and we will celebrate the holidays together. Then THEY will leave. My brother, my sister, my nieces. They will all leave.

I really cannot even begin to fathom THAT goodbye. I think I will probably cry until my eyes are bloodshot and my cheeks are chapped.  I know we can still talk via Skype, and I really am so thankful we live in a modern technological age; but, it just isn’t the same as driving to their house and giving them squeezes, watching them put on shows, or catching a documentary together. It isn’t the same as borrowing Madeline for the weekend to go on adventures with Aunt Shell or letting her eat as much ice-cream as she wants – can can’t give a kid ice-cream via Skype. They’re moving to Hawaii, which I realize is completely AWESOME and I’m TOTALLY excited to visit the island sometime soon…but my brother and his family are a large part of what made San Diego feel like home and I have a feeling it’ll take a while to regain that footing. Bottom line, I am going to miss them like crazy funky and it makes my heart ache just thinking about it. I’m not good at normal goodbyes – and this is way beyond that.

For now I suppose I should just praise the Lord we have another month or so together before they board that plane. A month to laugh and make memories and get as many hugs and kisses as possible from my favorite littles. AND then I should plan a trip to Hawaii…I think turning 28 in paradise sounds perfect!