dear evan hansen

Last night I finally got to take in the magic that was Dear Evan Hansen.  

It was a long awaited event. One for which I had put my name on that “please alert me when tickets are available in my area” list - then sent an urgent and overly excited email to my friend Abigail Pearl when the email finally landed in my inbox alerting me that DEAR EVAN HANSEN WAS FINALLY COMING TO LA. We bought tickets almost instantly. Then waited again. I am one of those who prefers to savor the performance on the stage, so I didn’t listen to the music before the live event. I wanted to fully saturate in every bit of the spectacular. 

Before the first song was done I knew I was going to LOVE this musical. I wished so much that I was surrounded by CHOSEN teens. I wished that I could be watching and taking in the depths of the meaning behind all that was being expressed with my teens who need to know how much they matter. Dear Evan Hansen is full of the awkwardness that IS high school, the lonely and desperate to be seen that is social media, the desire for community that will never be fully met by typing words into a device, plus constant reminders that SOMEONE does see you, someone does care, and you are never really alone. Oh my stars it just made me want to hug my kids! 

It really was one of the best musicals I have seen in a long time. I was so grateful to spend those hours in a red velvet chair staring in wonderment at a stage of exceptionally talented individuals as they brought deep truths to life in a way that perhaps only music can. I sat there with all the feels - goosebumps and tears all in a singular second. 

(Abigail and I decided to get season tickets - so 2019 is the year of the arts! Cheers to so many more moments holding my breath while being enchanted by the stage!) 

to 2019.

SO STRANGE that 2018 is now in the past. It was a good year in so many ways - a year full of showing up and loving my people - even if that meant getting on planes and flying to Texas or St. Louis to do so. I am so grateful that God gave me a year to breathe - a year where joy came easy and hope was in full supply. 2018 was a year of chasing after Jesus, trusting that He is writing my story and that even in unfamiliar and unexpected circumstances - the outcome will be better than anything I can put to paper on my own. It was a year where my heart beat fiercely for Rwanda and the tears welled up continuously as I prayed for those I held close from continents away. A year where every time “What a Beautiful Name” by Hillsong was part of worship, I could close my eyes and see the faces of our Rwandan campers play like a slideshow in my mind. It was a year of learning to trust God alone for approval and affirmation and rest solely on His validation - that was one of the hardest aspects of the year - and one of the most beautiful all the same. 2018 was a year in which I caught glimpses of the great gift it is to be present in this season alongside my dear friends who are raising up their families - the overwhelming laughter that is made possible as I dive in wholeheartedly to fun-making with their littles. I might not be able to do all this if I had my own family and I am so thankful the Lord has given me tiny pictures of the wonderment He has made possible in the midst of the waiting and the obediently walking in faith. 

NOW it is 2019, an entirely new year. I am not really one for audacious goal-setting or big dream making. I want to keep chasing after Jesus. I want to keep showing up. I want to read His word and know His heart, hear His voice, trust His way. I want to continue to grow and become and to adventure with audacious faith and bold enthusiasm. I want Christ to be my greatest dream. 

So bring it 2019 - and let’s look back with GREAT JOY and confidently say we lived it well.