the grammys

Last night was the Grammy Awards...an epic night for American music. However, I haven't watched them yet because I decided I would rather watch The Bachelor Wedding (an epic night for women everywhere and Chris Harrison) with my best, Carrie. She enticed me with cookies and cute children that needed to be cuddled - it wasn't really even a question! After Sean and Catherine were blissfully wed (Sean's Dad was just darling as the Officiant - I think he was my favorite part, maybe other than Catherine's dress which was divine), I did catch about 2 minutes of Lorde's performance and I just don't understand what happened to her nails...I don't think it counts as a manicure if the entire tip of your finger is painted black...strange-sauce! Anyway, I will probably watch the Grammy's eventually - or at least fast forward through them so I can see TSWIFT perform (love her!) but I had to look at the red carpet pics. I am (and forever will be) a total sucker for a red carpet. My favorite looks were all neutrals with a bit of glitz. Taylor takes the lead in her stunning gold strapless dress with a silver sparkle overlay. Perfection. I also loved Sarah Hyland (one of TSwift's real life friends and actress in Modern Family) in her black and white short dress! Fun and fancy while still looking young and feminine - these girls are babies after all (even if they are literally the rich and famous). I don't know if Anna Kendrick's dress is my favorite - but I just love her so I thought I'd throw her some blog love and Kacey Musgraves just looks phenomenal. Again, I'm not sure I love the dress it feels a little more Academy Awards than Grammys, and the layered ruffle might be a bit too much, but the air of class and sophistication is bar none and I love her manicure. Nails will win me over every time. There is quite a lull between the Grammy's and the Oscars, so I will have to wait a long time until the next red carpet...but praise the Lord it is a really good one! Until then, I will write ridiculousness and watch Oscar nominated films...

a glimpse of a dream

Monday night is Bachelor night...a crazy group of fantastic women bathed in the sweet scents of acetone and nail polish alongside plenty of chocolate gathered in front of a tv debating the annoyance level of women we have never met. It's the perfect escape from reality and if we're honest, these women make us feel well adjusted and "normal". Last night we watched at Carrie's house. I came early to get in some good Izzy snuggles before she was "sentenced to bedtime" and virtually melted when I walked in the door and she smiled, pointed, and said "aunt shell". She knows me. Recognizes me. Loves me. After the show was over and ballots had been submitted for the Fantasy Bachelor Pool, the ladies went home and Carrie and I settled into the couch for some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills best friend time and snuggles with Rory James. Rory and I cuddled for over an hour, he fell asleep in my arms and made the best baby noises - he was happy - comfortable - right where he wanted to be. Much too soon it was time to say goodbye. I stood up and caught a glimpse of myself with Rory still asleep in my arms in the mirror. Instantaneously the tears welled up. I looked like a mommy. The night had turned to the wee hours of the morning and I was awake and cuddling the sweetest bundle of joy. The ache was deep as I stared at my dream in that mirror. In the last few years I have watched almost all of my friends find love and get married, I've watched many of them have babies, and there are days that I feel like life has moved on without me. Like somehow everyone I care about has moved to the next chapter and I've been left behind. As I looked at my reflection I wondered if I would ever actually be that mama loving on her babe in the middle of the night. If that dream will ever become a reality for me. Real life is hard and sometimes it hurts. I'm so thankful to be aunt shell and blessed to have bitties to love on. However, deep down there is a yearning to love my own children and soon. So until then, I will continue to find joy in loving on the littles God has put in my life and hope that one day I will look into a mirror and see a reflection that is more than just a dream...and no, I will not be going on the bachelor to find true love...