there will never be another like my Grandma, Ellie B.

My grandma died this morning. She was 99-years-old and it should have been “enough time” - it was so many more years than most of us are given, and yet somehow in this moment, it doesn’t feel like nearly as much as I really wanted…I wanted her to meet my husband and be there on my wedding day…I wanted her to know my kids, to love my kids, to share so many more moments - because I loved having her here so much. She would tell me I’m selfish if she heard me saying this - and she’s right - I told her she could go - she was ready. I got so much time than I ever thought possible, and I am so grateful for every moment and priceless memory. I couldn’t possibly encapsulate the wonderful and amazing Ellen B. Cochran…but my goodness I wish you could have known her…

Ellie loved us well - she came to virtually everything - from childhood performances of numerous varieties at church to 6th and 8th grade graduations to hearing the Red Robe Choir sing (on numerous occasions) to the major milestones like walking across the stage at CBU and receiving my diploma, she was always there. She celebrated every birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas with us and was generous all throughout the years. I remember a pink Barbie wardrobe and a mini-backpack I wanted so desperately I couldn’t stand it - both were wrapped and waiting for me under her tree. She also gave me my very first bottle of perfume - instantly I felt all grown up. She took me on many a shopping spree before school began each fall - Grandma LOVED to shop and was quite the fashionista - she always looked spry. I’ll never forget her lime green jacket - she always wore bright colors and lots of accessories - maybe that’s where I got it. Maybe I got my love for clothes and accessories from my grandma! 

When we were kids, we spent a fair bit of time at Grandma’s house and we loved going to her pool, she always wore these same white strappy plastic shoes (I can almost hear the sound of them right now) as we clopped along the path together, towels in hand for an afternoon in the community pool. She also had a legit pool cap - white - with flowers on the side. She even looked cute in that! Technically kids weren’t allowed in the jacuzzi - but Grandma always let us break the rules! We shared countless meals together at Grandpa’s “favorite” taco shop - which just happened to be Taco Bell and she thoroughly enjoyed sharing a salad at Applebees! She made the very best Velveeta chili cheese dip served with Fritos as appetizer before the holiday meal! YUM! She always kept a stash of the snickers ice-cream bars in her freezer alongside those Dibs ice-cream bites, which were perfect for stealing! Truth be told she had a stash of ALL kinds of things in her freezer and most of them weren’t packaged up very well - she didn’t have the BEST track record for sealing bags in the freezer OR the cupboards. Ziplock bags Grandma, come on! ha! 

She loved music - she played the organ and had one in her house - I remember LOVING that thing when I was little. She also listened to music on her really fancy stereo system and danced around the house…she loved to dance and had special dancing shoes. I always wanted to try them on and usually she let me. She had a double mirrored closet and the doors were so special - they made 100 of you…it was like walking into Wonka Land. Grandma hid things and never remembered where she hid them - I found diamonds in the bottom of a jar of marbles once - I don’t think she ever loved me more than THAT moment. 

I don’t think I’ve ever loved her more than THIS moment. I am actually wearing a pair of her socks today. When Mom and I went to see her on January 28 (the last time I ever saw her, just 9 days ago) she gave me a stack of socks that were too tight and insisted they’d be too small for me (I can hear her in my head right now…you’re wrong Grandma, they’re not). I pulled a pair on this morning and smiled thinking about her. I didn’t know I’d soon receive the call that she had passed peacefully in her sleep. I told her earlier this year that she could go, that it was ok, she told me “God has been gracious to me” and she is right - He gave us so many good days and only a few that were truly very hard. She has been so tired and ready to say goodbye to this world. I will miss her more than I could ever say, but am beyond words grateful for the incredible years we shared - growing up as her granddaughter was an honor extraordinaire - there will never be another like my Grandma, Ellie B.