from july 24...

so I am completely incompetent – especially when it comes to directions and getting to unfamiliar (or even familiar for that matter) places. I agreed to housesit for a co-worker and friend over the weekend and THAT was my first mistake. She showed me her place and how everything worked on Tuesday afternoon RIGHT AFTER WORK – key words: RIGHT AFTER WORK (hence the capital letters) – it was LIGHT outside. Problem is – when I went to find the house on Friday NIGHT – it was dark. I drove through the neighborhood looking very much like a criminal for several minutes and probably made 6 loops driving VERY slowly and carefully checking each driveway to see if the garage was detached and set off to the right-hand side. NONE of them were. I finally broke down and called Kenzie: my personal GPS system and she used google maps to direct me to the house. Apparently my co-worker lives on one of those streets that is interrupted by a major crossroad and doesn’t go all the way through. Yeah. Blessings. Anyways, once I finally got there, I threw the keys down in the living room and started to settle in. Air conditioning on CHECK. Lights on CHECK. Television and dvd player on CHECK. THEN it hit me…where was the key to the house? I remembered putting it down somewhere in the living room but couldn’t for the life of me seem to locate it. I looked on the chairs, under the chairs, on the couch, under the couch, on the coffee table, in the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the kitchen trash can, outside in the walkway, in my car, under the floor mats in my car, under the welcome mat at the front door, behind the window shades, then FINALLY I decided to look INSIDE the chairs by the front door – I pushed my hand inside the cushions and pulled out anything and everything I could. No key. Then I heard a clanging noise…a sound that DISTINCTLY sounded like a key thumping against a piece of wood deep within the chair. I HAD FOUND IT…now I just had to figure out how to get it out. I turned the chair upside down and carefully maneuvered one finger in the small gap between the staples holding the lining onto the chair. FINALLY I got it – I pulled the key our anticipating sheer bliss. WRONG KEY. Not the key I was looking for at all! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??? I was at a total loss for what to do. As a final ditch effort, I turned everything off and retraced my steps. As soon as I closed the television cabinet I saw it – a faint glimmer of clear plastic with a giant silver key attached at the end…the HOUSE KEY!!! What an event. By this time, it was probably 1:30am and I was TOTALLY exhausted. However, typical Shell, I can’t sleep in other people’s houses – in fact – sometimes I can’t even sleep in my OWN house. Why did I think house sitting would be a good idea? I crawled into my bed and for the next 5 hours contemplated WHO was breaking into the house – HOW they were doing it – and HOW LONG it would take before they realized I was in there and came to claim their prey. It was absolutely RIDIUCLOUS. Finally when the sun was coming up, I found myself reassured by the following thought, “oh, look, its light outside. People don’t break into other people’s houses in the daylight. I’m safe now.” RIIIIIIGHT. Good one Shell. At about 6:00am I turned ALL the lights in the entire house on and put a movie on in my room. I FINALLY fell asleep. Too bad I had to be at a meeting at 9…it was a light sleeping night for me for sure…