a richly blessed morning...

WOW! it is only 11:00 in the morning and already today has been so inspirational and encouraging. this morning i ran into the blog of an old friend, Autumn Talcott who is now Autumn Gossett, and was overjoyed to spend a bit of time reading about God's incredibly powerful movement and presence in her life. She and her husband Brian are vigorously seeking the kingdom and making a dynamic impact there through pursuing an international adoption. they are only weeks away (prayerfully) from bringing their son home from Etheopia. From what i read, it has been a long process of prayer, disappointment, overwhelming joy, and unparalleled excitement. it was such a precious blessing to see the pictures of the nursery painted in love and adorned with artifacts both from Africa - their son's birthplace - and here in the states revealing the rare and special nature of this new family. I am so thankful that i can now join them in prayer as they endure this long journey to bring home their little boy. wow.
i am in no way certain of what God is doing in my heart and life through all of this, but i am incredibly aware that He has put several people in my life that have made these kinds of drastic decisions and i respect them tremendously. i have a sweet friend whose parents have been heavily involved with the foster care system for years and she now has a three siblings that were adopted into her family and are now being tenderly loved and cared for. i also have a friend that works daily in a daycare center where she is feeling more and more pulled to adopt in hopes of caring for these children that appear to have no one and are being raised in such an unhealthy environment that will forever stunt their growth and ability to lead life by any definition of normalicy. i know and trust that the Lord will reveal His perfect plan and path for my life - but in the meantime I am inspired and moved to tears as I hear the stories of people in my life that are choosing to walk the road the Lord has chosen for them. Thank you for the example you all are in my life. I am truly blessed.

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day." -Habakkuk 2:3

the bane of my masters education...

one of the highlights of my life is Wednesday Nights with Megan. every week we meet at 5:15 at Daphne's on the corner of Brea and Birch to enjoy a deluctable meal of greek cuisine. we talk about our weeks - our jobs - our crazy friendships - try to plan trips to Disneyland - and contemplate the latest movie releases. sometimes dinner is followed by an activity and sometimes dinner is the activity in itself. when we first started "date night" we were on an M. Knight Shyamalan kick and we watched one of his movies every week after dinner. now, we both have jobs and end up really tired after dinner - so we've taken a sabatical from our late night fun. not to worry though, we still have plenty of adventures and with Erika coming in only a few weeks, i'm sure we'll kick back into HIGH GEAR for some ANTM (america's next top model) Grey's Anatomy, the Bachelor, and Project Runway. WHOAH we watched a lot of TV in college. i miss that! ha!
so...back to wednesday nights with megan. last night was a particularly short evening for us - i am moving this weekend and due to a variety of situations far beyond my control, there is a lot of work yet to do and i'm feeling the pressure. however, even though our time together was significantly reduced, the laughter and memories were at an all time high. i think i can honestly say that megan had tears of laughter at one point in conversation. you see, last night megan and i realized that we had similar feelings in relation to a particular person: the bane of my masters education. about halfway through my program, a new batch of students joined my co-hort. one student, we'll change his name to protect his reputation, Ricardo, was a particular nuisance. He would ride into class late on his skateboard looking absolutely haagard like he had just awoken from a nap and interrupt literally everything occuring within the classroom. he would work on his homework (that was already due for submission) during class thus continuing that annoying tappity tap tap tap of his laptop throughout the entire session. he calls everyone friend or buddy but doesn't really know anoyone. he is TERRIBLE. he doesn't ever have anything insightful to say and literally degrades the entirety of my educational program. a few weeks ago, he was giving a presentation in our quantitative business modeling course and decided to use a youtube video to display the concept of "waiting in line" just in case any of us were unsure of what that looked like. megan has incredibly similar situations of riducularity (and yes i know that isn't a real word - i made it up to use in this context!) apparently he sat next to her at graduation and from under his gown he pulled out a footlong subway sandwich that he then proceeded to eat during the processional. During the ceremony he took it even one step farther and brought out a full-sized bag of pretzels and began offering them to all his "friends" also known as the strangers sitting in his general area. seriously if he can graduate and get a masters degree, ANYONE CAN. what a joke. megan and i have made an ultimate decision that there is truly only one way to describe Ricky: he is an absolute FOOL.

my life is now complete...

on Sunday i had my very first pumpkin carving experience. at the home of my wonderful friend Rachel (who used to be my sweet roommate) a pumpkin extravaganza was effectively imparted upon my life. it started with enough pumpkin food to satisfy my personal pumpkin needs for a great deal of time! there were pumpkin cookies, muffins, pies, cornbread, ice-cream along with "witches fingers" (also known as chicken fingers) and pasta salad, kettle corn, and a cheese and cracker tray - it was INTENSE! following the feast, the pumpkin carving party began! Rachel who is incredibly artistic and skilled far beyond my giftedness (which is very close to nothing as far as drawing or painting is concerned) crafted a cute little face for my pumpkin friend.

with her eyes and smile drawn on, i began my work with nothing more than a little plastic knife (and it wasn't too sturdy either - if i ever find a really good one i will follow the example of my friend, Rachel's Andrew, and write my name prominently on the handle to ensure that it stays with me for all future carving experiences). i must admit it was quite enjoyable cutting off her stem and taking out all her ooey gooey insides. I then gave her batty eyelashes and a terrific smile! she is my very first pumpkin friend and although i'm not entirely compelled to make any more, i am fairly certain a day will come in my future in which i will excitedly cut into another pumpkin! it was an enjoyable evening to say the least and pumpkin carving is now a skill i can add to my list - perhaps even to my resume - i am sure at some job that would be prioritized on the top of the list of requirements for employment. pumpkin carving was something i never did as a child but i'm surely glad that i have done it now. as Rachel said, "my life is now complete."

the week at a glance

this week is going to be absolutely insane. i am already anticipating the hideodious amount of work i have to accomplish and the associated level of grumpy that i am soon to experience...

i currently live in Stanton, CA - a little city (that really isn't even a city but rather a sub-city that doesn't even have its own police department and is safe although entirely unattractive) just west of Anaheim. however, this time next week, i will be living in Fullerton, CA in a cute 3-bedroom house with a HUGE backyard and a driveway all its own. it sounds lovely. however, the process of getting four girls and all their belongings into the new place is daunting especially considering the events of late. this morning one of my roommates left for New York and although i'm not entirely sure when she is coming home, i'm fairly certain that her being in a different state on the complete other side of the country leaves her relatively unavailable for packing purposes. then there is Lindsay, my dear sweet roommate who somehow managed to trip over the lights that so delicately hung over her window sill and lodged her elbow between a box and her bed in a most precarious position which ultimately led to a trip to the emergency room and potential surgery this morning. i'm pretty sure she's out of commission. so we're down to me and Adri-Anne - and well let's be completely honest, our schedules aren't exactly AVAILABLE. ahhhh. tonight i am dedicated to packing. i have almost finished all of my laundry and only have a few more belongings to box up....then i plan to start on the kitchen...and move forward from there. tomorrow is Bible Study so i won't be home until approximately 10:30pm which pretty much means i will accomplish NOTHING at the house. Wednesday is dinner with Megan after which i will either be packing more, or doing homework since i do have a case study with associated questionairre as well as a paper to finish by Saturday. Thursday is my study group with Louie - hopefully we'll finish a lot in a short amount of time - we'll see though - we have to use solver (an excel add-on) so one can only pray! Friday is Christi and Kate's "Mad for Plaid" halloween party - which by the looks of my schedule will be little more than a drive-by for me and then Saturday is class from 8-4 in Riverside. Sunday my parents will be here and they'll be ready to move so i absolutely HAVE to be ready. whew. i'm not sure when sleeping is going to fit in this schedule between work, school, bible study, doctors appointment, packing, eating, and just plain ol' remembering to breathe - but if i can make it through this week, i can probably do ANYTHING. so...here I go!

i think i can, i think i can...

i am only a few months (which is equal to about a class and a half) away from being finished with my masters - well almost at least - on December 20, 2008 i will be completely done with the coursework required for a Masters in Business Administration with a concentration in Management. WOOOHOOO! it has been a long time coming and a TON of work. on May 2, 2009, i will joyfully walk across the CBU graduation stage and gratefully accept my hood (even if the color is drab). however, on May 5th, i will return to school to finish the capstone simulation course which is the final requirement for my degree. It is a 12-week, 6-unit program that will run every Tuesday evening until July 18th at which point i will OFFICIALLY BE DONE!!! oh my gosh i should start a countdown. i am SO ready to NOT HAVE HOMEWORK! :)

9 months and counting...
(with 10 months until the graduation cruise! woohooo)

an age of moral depravity

"Each person is a sovereign who is morally accountable only to
himself - a philosophy of radical individualism, reflecting postmodern thinking, that is a perfect
formula for moral anarchy"

This morning I was reading The Newsbreak a publication of the First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton (which is where I work) and was dumbfounded as I considered the validity of each man being morally responsible ONLY to himself. Shockingly, in American society, this is exactly true. Men are no longer held accountable for the decisions they make or actions they push forward. Rather, they consistently place blame and schovenistically represent themselves as leaders in development and forward movement. If an individual is born a boy but wants to be a girl, so be it. If a girl wants to be sexually involved with another girl - again, that is completely and entirely her decision - who are we to stand in her way or dig in the middle of her personal business. And yet if each man is morally responsible only to himself - tell me why murder is our business - why do we get to ask questions then and invade someone's privacy?? Does the standard not apply in every situation - and if so, how is it valid in any situation?
Americans want to believe that standards of conduct no longer exist and that we do not live in an age of moral depravity - but rather and age of individualism and exploration - a time when becoming who you "really" are is what counts. But i submit that their thought process is severly erroneous. There IS moral right and wrong and as Christians, it is our job to joyfully choose upright and righteous lives. Today, Christians who are “salt and light” can be used by God
to rescue the very soul of America. It is time for every believer to openly share God’s unchanging truth with his neighbors. This may be our final opportunity to truly stand up and fight.

Where ALL your dreams come true...

on thursday of last week i made the decision to go ahead and cancel my gym membership...i was paying $44 a month for a big load of guilt because i absolutely NEVER went - between working full time and getting a masters - i just didn't have extra energy to use in a cardiovascular training session.

on sunday i decided to go ahead and invest the money i would have spent at the gym in a DISNEYLAND pass - afterall, you can walk around a LOT at the diz - maybe the DIZ is MY KEY to weight loss success! :)

my first disneyland adventure occured on Sunday evening along with two of my sweetest friends - Megan and Kenzie! we had a spectacular time and ended the night off with the thrills of Indiana Jones (which is quickly becoming my favorite ride - since i'm apparently NOT allowed to pick Space Mountain). We really only explored Adventureland or maybe it was Frontierland...either way, there is a whole lot of Disneyland left to see and i'm gearing up to see it all - because of course, it is where all your dreams come true - and i have LOTS of dreams!!

back in the world of blogs

so...many of my friends have been encouraging me to return to my love for blogging - i have posted so many thoughts and blips throughout the years, but have periodically deleted them as new chapters in life began. well, at this point, it looks like this chapter could be a long one - its called ADULTHOOD and i don't see myself going anywhere else anytime soon. so...i'm back in the world of blogs...maybe together we can unravel God's plans and purposes through this time in my life.

i care

My current favorite quote:

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -Henry Nouwen

life it is never quite like anticipated...

it has now been seven months since i graduated from college and for a wide variety of reasons this post college adjustment process has not been the perfect fairy tale i had envisioned. in May tessa and i were excitedly exclaiming our newly created plan to "live the dream" we picked out a darling (but ridiculously expensive and quite overpriced) one bedroom apartment and were all set to move in when i got home from World Changers in August...then Wes happened. he proposed and only days later the wedding date was set for September 22...time for a dream change.
i moved to orange county in September and started my first official full-time job as the receptionist at Toll Brothers: America's Luxury Home Builder. although the position was simple and didn't require much creativity or genuine knowledge, i managed to keep myself busy while making new friends and learning a whole lot about the market impact on business. i moved in with my aunt and uncle (well really they're my cousins, but they're old enough to be my aunt and uncle) almost immediately upon my arrival in the larger LA area and settled in to my upstairs bedroom - let me just say - there is nothing quite like a queen sized bed!! however, i do miss having all my clothes hanging in a closet - i've been living out of a suitcase since may and honestly, it has gotten rather old. current desire in life: FURNITURE of my own in which i can put all my treasured posessions.
only four months after my official start date, i left toll. however, God in His infinite grace and love provided me with an incredible opportunity. i left toll on a friday and the following monday i started working in the business and administration services office at The First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton. the atmosphere and aroma within the office was completely different than anything i experienced at toll...i was immediately warmed and welcomed by the staff and quickly became a part of the family. although i still have LOTS to learn, i'm realizing daily that i've found a new home.

all this to say that it took me seven months to figure it out - it took me over half a year to determine that the dream i had been dreaming wasn't the dream at all. that in fact who i thought i wanted to be wasn't even close to who God wanted me to become. these months have been a struggle - they've been filled with moments of utter confusion, lonely nights, and tear stained cheeks. however, through all of it i have learned that although life is never quite what i had anticipated, somehow i survive; and usually in the end find that the life part is better than anything the anticipation could possibly have offered.