The next 10-years won’t look anything like you expect, and it will be painful. You are just learning how to be an adult - and that will be a journey. You will make some terrible decisions, but you’ll learn from them and grow in meaningful ways. You’ll feel like life has settled into a bit of monotony - and it has - news flash, life doesn’t change nearly as much in adult life as it did when you were a kid.
In the next decade, you will watch so many of your friends get married. Your friendships will change and you’ll have to learn to let go. You’ll need to be invested in making new friends - continually. Letting go and walking away from people will be a struggle because you love deep and you are a person who chooses to stay; but you will also learn that sometimes the cost is too great and you just can’t keep chasing after people. You will be wounded, and you will recover. You will know loneliness in a new way, but you’ll learn to thrive there. You will learn the art of grieving while choosing to live in joy…life is bittersweet in every season.
As your friends start having babies, you will learn what a gift it is to be aunt shell - you will find healing in their laughter and will truly love getting to be friends with tiny humans. You will question over and over what God has in store for your life and pray that a family is ultimately in His plans. You’ll also learn that we are not promised our every desire in this life and we cannot fully know or comprehend His best. Lean into trusting Him regardless of what comes for you or what your circumstances seem to say. He sees you and He loves you infinitely more than you can imagine.
Because you know Jesus and you choose him, you will do some incredible things in ministry and your heart will continue to grow. You’ll start working with teens impacted by the foster care system. Their stories will wreck you. Simultaneously you’ll see how God has perfectly orchestrated the pieces of your life to prepare you for this calling. You will travel to Budapest to work with refugees and to Rwanda to work with orphans. You will understand gratitude in a way you never perceived before - and you’ll cling tight to hope. You will find healing in the immense joy you see in others - and God will meet you in new ways as you serve Him. You will be convinced yet again that living in the center of His will is for your good!
It will take you a long time to realize that you are worthy & chosen - but it has always been true. You will start to really invest in YOU and it will be worth every bit of effort. You’ll begin to protect yourself and make better decisions regarding boundaries in your life. You’ll still show up and pour your whole heart into those you care about most - but you’ll be able to discern healthy and unhealthy in new ways. You will begin to live more vulnerably and to let other people into your mess. You’ll have to keep working hard on not giving into your innate desire to please others or find your approval in them - but you’ll make huge strides forward.
You’ll feel like you don’t belong a lot of the time. You won’t look like anyone else and that will be a challenge. You’ll long to be included and invited and in general to feel wanted. You yearn to belong. You’ll have to really fight against those feelings. You’ll get to love broadly, celebrating the lives of so many incredible people - but you won’t know love deeply with just one - and you will continue to wonder what that might be like. That’s ok. You’ll take moments here and there to sit in the sorrow. Some people will be able to meet you there. Others won’t. You’ll beg God to give you open hands. You’ll watch dreams die and you’ll ask for new dreams. You will see God provide again and again.
Pain will be a reality for you. You’ll think that is all people can see, but that is a lie. People see your strong and your brave. People admire you and people truly think you are so lovely. You will be a reflection of Christ to so many. You shine. So press on sweet girl and keep chasing after becoming. You are learning to dance with Jesus - and that is where you’ll find a vibrant and extraordinary life.
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