be family

“be family for those without”

It’s a simple concept but one that has been resonating in my heart for a few weeks now. 

You see, mid-April I went to a wedding in Northern California (I know, weddings are kind of the story of my life) and the Pastor seemed to go on and on about how it is not good for man to be alone. I sat there while the tears brewed pondering how I didn’t exactly choose this. I didn’t really WANT to be alone. I had prayed faithfully and sought the Lord in this very real state of alone, and yet He had consistently answered wait . So here I am - 31 - unmarried - hoping and expecting that my someday is yet to be. I wrestled as I left the church and ultimately let the tears fall as I got in the car. The Lord has seen them so many times before. Later that day, my sweet sister-in-law checked in to see how the wedding had gone and I shared my heart. She responded with grace expressing that she had actually been convicted and encouraged recently at a conference by Jen Hatmaker in the role of the church as the Bride of Christ and the importance of taking care of those without spouses and acknowledging how hard it is to be in that space. 

Today I read a blog about mother’s day from the perspective of a single woman who still has a hole in her life where perhaps she imagined a child would currently be - a feeling I can completely relate to and understand. I have watched so many of my friends get married and start their families. I am Aunt Shell to many littles - a vast majority of whom are not related by blood. And yet, I am not a mama and there is no inkling of that coming in the near future. There is a deep longing and ache there. The blog post was encouraging families to celebrate the single woman in your life who has a mothering voice - who loves your babies and comes close in their moments big and small. To be family to her in a tangible way because she is family to you. 

I think the church desires to be a deep community, but do we consider ourselves FAMILY? Do we really draw near or do we just like a good opportunity to share a meal and laugh together? Do we show up to help each other move anymore? Is there even space in our lives to SEE needs? What does it look like to actually BE family to those without - those who don’t have a spouse but have the heart of a wife - or those who don’t have a child but have the heart of a mother? What does it look like to tangibly care? And Lord would you please help me remember what it feels like to be in this space if you do someday answer these prayers and fulfill these dreams so I may BE FAMILY TO THOSE WITHOUT in the future when it is my turn to come alongside and graciously and generously love that girl who feels so totally misunderstood and alone and ready for what comes next but willingly waiting for You.