Well, let’s just say it wasn’t quite the weekend I expected…
I went to San Diego to celebrate Adelynn Rae’s 1st birthday. And truth be told we did just that. On Saturday evening around a table at Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza, just her mommy, her daddy, and me (aunt shell). A waiter placed a ridiculously large and delicious chocolate sundae in front of her and we sang to the birthday girl. She lit up and Anna blew out her candle. She put her hand into the chocolatey mess without hesitation and reached back in multiple times enjoying every second of the ooey-gooey delight. We took pictures and laughed at her. Moments of perfection, emblazoned upon my brain. I will cherish them.
On either side of that birthday sundae, Anna I cut snowflakes, and hung garland as we turned the house into Adelynn’s winter ONEderland in anticipation of her (perhaps slightly ridiculous) big bad birthday party scheduled for Sunday evening. There were approximately 60 people coming to celebrate the birthday girl and when I left Saturday night, there was still much to do! We had spent quite a bit of time planning and designing and crafting and Sunday was the big day. I saw Anna at church that morning, she even sang, however as she left church she said she wasn’t doing very well and might have to lie down at home for a while. Anna had already told me that on Friday she had horrible pain…and Saturday she had some definite hard moments but then was doing much better…but the pain was back…and Anna was pregnant so we knew what it could potentially mean. I went to coffee and by the time I headed to Anna’s house she had decided she needed to go to the ER. I stayed with sweet Adelynn and continued party prep while waiting for news from the ultrasound. Too soon I got the text that read, “no heartbeat.” I cried for my dear friend knowing the pain that would accompany that loss. And held sweet Adelynn tight for a moment. Then came the second text - it was an ectopic pregnancy and it ruptured - she was bleeding into her abdomen and would need emergency surgery. There would be no party. Anna was headed to the OR. I got Adelynn down for her nap and then started to clean up the house - I left all the major decor as it was knowing Anna would still want to throw that shin-dig very soon, but also understanding Daniel would need some calm and clean and organization to the chaos if he was going to survive this whirlwind with his wits in tack. All the food went into the freezer so it could be used at a later date, and Daniel’s mom arrived to stay with Addie girl. There really wasn’t anything for me to do but head back to Orange County. It was an eerie strange feeling to leave town knowing my best friend was unconscious on an OR table. I sent her mom a text expressing that I was just so sad to leave like this and then loaded the car and headed for home. The Lord was gracious and kind and spared my dear Anna. She had over 2 liters of blood in her belly and it truly was a grave situation. I got to FaceTime with her and text quite a bit later that evening. We got all weepy and sentimental. We have been best friends for 30 years and it wouldn’t have been enough.
In the Lord’s gracious mercy, He had me exactly where I needed to be this weekend - right by Anna’s side. I got to help with party preparations even if there was no party, I got to celebrate Adelynn on her birthday and see her dig into that ice-cream sundae, and I got to hold her tight when her mama needed me in the scary moments. Living away from Anna I often miss being there for the hard stuff and this time I was present in the thick of it all and I truly am grateful. I am tremendously thankful for Anna and the years we have spent walking together and the deep rich bond we share. I am also thankful because I am “unattached” - I am able to show up and pour in and be present in the lives of those I love. I truly believe the Lord has developed this part of me over the years as my people have become my family and the propelling heartbeat of my life. As I stood in the midst of the storm this weekend, I was deeply moved because circumstances allow me to just pick up and go and be there for moments large and small. It may not always be true, but for right now, I will choose to praise Him and celebrate that gift. The gift of being present. The gift of pouring out. The gift of drawing close. The gift of getting to choose my direction and adventure. The gift of friendship - what precious and priceless gift it is.
1 comment:
It really was a blessing that you were here when we needed you most--God just knew it would be one of the most reassuring things for me through that time... knowing you were there taking care of the party (that didn't exist!) and our little Adelynn. It made me REALLY happy to share her birthday night with you... I couldn't have asked for a better birthday celebration...the one that was just us! Very special--YOU are special and we are thankful. It really was a weird feeling when Mom told me that you were going back home... I clearly remember thinking, she's just driving home.... how weird. It was the weirdest closure! haha. Love you so darn much!!!!!!!!!
--Anna
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