shopping for a husband.

I started online dating again. It’s a humble admission because I haven’t actually gone on any dates so I’m not sure it qualifies as dating at this point. It’s more like browsing with very little product information and no promise of finding a good fit. I guess all online shopping is a bit that way - but usually a few days later a cute little package arrives on your doorstop bringing pure joy. (I might have just revealed a different problem I should focus on resolving… but alas). 

I’m currently using Coffee Meets Bagel because it is free and I’m not sure I’m willing to spend my cold hard cash on a dating service when we’re in a pandemic and therefore can’t even go on real dates. The benefit of dating has to be trying new places, experiencing new things, making memories, right? It can't be the multitude of awkward moments. Like when you’re trying to locate the person you’ve been chatting with online, who may or may not look anything like the teeny tiny profile picture you’ve seen on your mobile device at only 72dpi. Or when the guy drinks six beers at lunch. Or compliments your teeth. Or eats numerous mints and then asks if you want to go for a walk around the parking lot because he isn’t quite ready to say goodnight to you yet. 

I would like to blame my lack of dates on COVID-19, but truth-telling, I haven’t made any real connections. I chatted with this guy named Andrew for a couple weeks, he even offered me his phone number before our “connection window timed out” but I am already bored. Isn’t there is supposed to be some spark, some enthusiasm, some witty repartee. I am just not sure I’m cut out for this, but I can’t let myself quit either. If I really do want a husband someday I have to be willing to try. Even if it is mostly awkward. 

To hold myself accountable, I have set some ground rules: 

1. I have to “connect” with at least one guy per day - I cannot just say no to everyone. 
2. I have to go on a date if I am asked.
3. If I go on that date and it isn’t a definite no, I have to go on a second date if asked. 

Sounds simple enough but we all know it isn’t. I am not looking for just any guy. I am looking for my guy. After listening to Monica and Jess love boys (thanks Micaela & Megan) I made a list of the qualities I’m looking for in my dreamboat. I was supposed to limit to 10 non-physical attributes but I got it down to 12 and feel pretty good about that. If you happen to know my guy - PLEASE SET US UP! It sounds so much better than the endless scrolling and reading of online profiles all while hoping I’m not rejecting my guy because he says Crossfit is his #1 priority. 

LIST OF QUALITIES I WANT IN A HUSBAND: 

1. belief in Christ + desire for a wholehearted life of faith 
2. compassionate spirit / kind natured 
3. intentional communicator 
4. willing to grow
5. adventurous 
6. strong / willing to speak up 
7. ambitious - takes initiative toward goals / dreams 
8. trustworthy / genuine / authentic 
9. stable
10. intellectual 
11. hilarious / joyful 
12. invested in relationships with family & friends