ask for the Sprite.

I went on a business trip last week and it served as a reminder that I am a pleaser - DEEP TO MY CORE. It isn’t something I am proud of, but it is the truth. I traveled at the most obnoxious times, had trouble expressing what I wanted to eat / drink, and really couldn’t even stand up for myself even when the cost was exceptionally low. 

For example, we arrived at our hotel around 7:00am after a red-eye flight with virtually zero sleep. (I would like to add, the seats on that plane were literally the smallest I have ever encountered. The person sitting ahead of me was literally in my lap obscuring my view of my personal television. That seems wrong, just saying!). Our incredible Office Manager had booked two rooms each with a king size bed and paid for two nights to ensure we could check in promptly upon our arrival and get a quick nap in before heading to the Florida office. She knows us well - that red eye was gonna take every last bit of sanity we once had. My boss checks in smoothly and attaches the company credit card to my room. Praises. Then he heads upstairs to get his sleep on. As he departs, the (not so) lovely lady behind the front desk informs me that they’ve sold my room and they only have a parlor room available for me to use. Please note that a parlor room is basically a conference room with a pull-out couch - a far cry from the King bed we reserved and paid for. So what did I do? I said thank you and asked that they please let me know as soon as my room - with that big ol’ king-size bed was ready. I didn’t push for the correct room, I didn’t demand a refund, I wasn’t outraged. I headed right up to that parlor room and settled into that pull-out couch. It wasn’t comfortable, but I was horizontal and for some reason, at that moment THAT was all I could care about. On the plane ride home, the lovely flight attendant (she really was though) missed my drink order. When my boss pointed it out I responded, “Meh. It isn’t a big deal - I’ve got this water.” WHY?! Why couldn’t I just say excuse me, I would really like a Sprite. Can you please help me with that? Why do I feel like I can’t be an inconvenience to anyone ever? It is ridiculous. 

I have realized that I really do try to never be in the way. I try to make sure that what everyone else wants come first - for sure at the cost of my own desires. In fact, I do this so extensively that I’m honestly not even sure what I want much of the time. I’ve got to work on it. I want to be able to dream…to confidently take action knowing the steps I am taking are best for me. I recognize that I matter and my presence and hopes and desires are worthy of being shared and seen. So, next time I’ve gotta speak up with boldness - and ask for that Sprite!