a weighty goodbye

Over two years ago, March 2017 if we want to get specific, I said a bittersweet goodbye to some of my dearest friends Ty and Heather Hoad as they headed overseas to serve the least of these and share boldly the love of Jesus. I knew then that another goodbye was coming - but now it has arrived and I am not ready. I have long been an member of an incredible family - CLARK, CLARK, HOAD, SWOPE. However, with HOADS and LITTLE CLARKS serving internationally, it is very soon to be just CLARK, SWOPE. In a matter of days I will have to say goodbye to some of my best friends, Andy and Kathleen, as they leave for Europe to proclaim the gospel and shine light in the darkness. 

I am so happy for them. 

I am so sad for me. 

I don’t really have words to encapsulate the gift it has been to walk together with Andy & Kathleen. It all started in early 2016 when we were team leaders with the EvFree Mission Initiative: LOVE EUROPE. I was honored to lead teams to Budapest and they led a team to England. We were fast friends. Something about our love for the nations and desire to live with the heart of the King sparked a connection that was deep and we have been present and invested in relationship ever since. It is hard to imagine my life being AS JOYFUL without the companionship of my besties - who else is going to dive in for trips to Cinnabon…hit up all the appetizers at happy hour… or decide (with exuberance) the only option is donuts & ice-cream in a single day. It won’t be the same when I can’t bump into the little Clarks on the plaza on a Sunday morning. I have no idea who is going to call me perfect - Kathleen is the one who has always done that! We have celebrated birthdays and christmases and even rang in a New Year or two. We have been faithful in prayer, and dedicated in love. 

I keep coming back to the gravity goodbye. Some are simple and easy; others hold so much weight. For me, people are my greatest joy and not having those I love around means life is just a little less vibrant and bright. I am confident the Lord will provide (and already see His hand so clearly) and trust He is in control. Even still, there is deep sorrow in letting go of the everyday extraordinary with these people who mean so very much to me. 

I am grateful, I am changed, and I can’t wait to ring in the New Year in Europe (fingers crossed, obviously).

Goodbye little Clarks - may you always know how much you truly mean to me. 

love you equals.