the beginning of #theshollyshow

Several weeks back I received some mail from EvFree Fullerton. I opened the envelope to find a letter detailing a request to come learn more about being a mentor to a High School Core Group leader. It stressed that they had prayed over every individual receiving the letter and were seeking each of us out specifically. I paused. You see - since I returned from Africa I have battled hard against feelings of inadequacy. I gave everything I had to leading my team both in preparation and ultimately in ministry throughout Rwanda. And while I can confidently say I led well from an administrative and organizational standpoint, and even feel like Camp was a tremendous success and our team served wholeheartedly giving Him all the glory, I came home questioning whether or not my team actually liked me. I can hear the ridiculous in that statement - but my heart has waged war there. The vast majority of my team is significantly younger than me and Satan found a foothold and a playground in my desire to have their approval and continued friendship upon our re-entry at home.

When the request came to mentor a Core Group Leader - it played right into that space. I instantly questioned my validity and wondered if I could relate to someone in that group - with that level of spiritual maturity and the cool factor to be adored by high school students. I hesitated. I went before the throne in obedience, but also found myself wrestling with the idea that it could be just awful and knew the battle of rejection that seemed to plague me from every direction could be intensified if He asked me to say yes.

The info meeting was literally a room of white-haired folks. Let’s just say I am not THAT…yet. I wondered yet again if this was something I was supposed to be doing but prayed throughout the next few days and ultimately felt the nudge to an uncomfortable yes. While I may not be miles ahead in the journey, God has allowed people to walk alongside me throughout the seasons of life and it has been hugely impactful and such a blessing. So here was my chance to pray with someone, encourage someone, share His words with someone - all He was asking was for faithfulness and pointing back to truth. YES, it could be miserable, but we would be growing even in the hard. Obedience by faith. 

The following Sunday, we went for a little training alongside all the other mentors who had officially said YES and then they told us who we would be partnered with for coffee and heart-talk for the upcoming year (which could either be quite brief or an unbearably long period of time). It was a TOUGH morning for me including a killer headache. I went a bit heavy-hearted and dreary. But oh how He loves to sing over us and prove time and time again that He has a purpose beyond what we see. They began to read through the list of pairings and said “Shelly you’re with Holly” and I squealed audibly. Holly and I had met years before because she was roommates with one of my dear friends Torrey Allen (she is literally the best…you wish you knew her!). Through Torrey, I began pursuing Holly a smidge - she has a beautiful heart for the Lord and cares deeply for the marginalized and vulnerable. We met for coffee several years ago because she was considering going to camp with us as a counselor. It was one of the best coffee dates ever - we laughed and talked so easily for hours and left the meeting thinking we should meet up again! Life happens and though we have only passed in the hallways occasionally - she definitely isn’t a stranger and is a tender and sweet soul. There was no question the Lord was waving His banner of love over me and reminding me - YOU ARE WANTED. YOU CAN CONNECT. SHHHHhhhh sweet girl - let Me love you - all you need to do is walk toward Me. A few days later I got a text from Holly that read, “SHELLY!!!” and she shared that she had been a bit anxious about the entire experience and God had also heard her cries. We had our first meet up on Sunday morning and needless to say, it was an absolute delight. I do not know what the Lord has - but I already hear Him singing sweetly and am thanking him in advance for what I truly believe He has planned and prepared for us to ENJOY in the richness of His presence together. What a beautiful gift to serve a God that loves us well even in the midst of our lacking!

So it begins…#theshollyshow