through the fog

Yesterday, my sweet friend Abigail sent me a message - she said “you follow in the fog - the fog of heartache, of loss, of dreams that haven’t been met, of depression. It’s easy to follow when you’re in agreement with God, but obedience is what God calls of His disciples. You follow the Lord when you can’t see through the fog to how it all makes sense. That is true obedience.”

It has undoubtedly been a season of FOG. Where the bittersweet feels more bitter than sweet and the rejoicing with OTHERS is more profound than rejoicing for self. Mom and I were having a conversation recently where we discussed the Israelites and how they walked by FAITH without certainty of what they were walking toward. So often I think that is our call in life - to keep taking steps forward - tiny perhaps seemingly insignificant steps of FAITH - that are PROFOUND in the long run. We don’t see the LIGHT in that, but others do. We don’t see Jesus shining in us or through us, but He is still somehow on display in our willingness to keep walking toward Him, kneeling before Him, and surrendering to Him faithfully. So much of life is ordinary and we won’t see the BIG PICTURE unfolding before us with grandeur so we must trust the Author who perfectly crafts each detail. 

If the entirety of the Bible can be summed up in three words - God With Us - and one of the names of God is Emmanuel - and our deepest need and desire in this life is His presence, ultimately we know the prayer of our heart must be MORE JESUS, ALL THE TIME. That is the only thing that will ever satisfy and fulfill. So in the midst of the fog, the bittersweet, and the tears, I continue to pray He would be my biggest dream and I would take small steps toward Him in faithful obedience. I surrender all.

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” Colossians 3:2