live fully and grow forward

Self… It is the beginning of a new year and there are some things I really need you to hear. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND AMAZING, YOU ARE BRIGHT AND YOU SHINE. Oh girl, it has been hard, and you’re worn out and tired. The tears come so easily and your heart feels like one giant mess. It seems like you’ve given all you have to offer and there just isn’t anything left. I know. I hear you. But I want you to hold tight and keep breathing. Remember that you are a dreamer, you’ve just been disappointed and you’re a little bit afraid to try again. But you can’t give up hoping regardless of the leaking vessel you’ll continue to be. There are great things out there and you want them. You really do. The fight is going to be worth it someday. You’re going to look back and see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown and you’re going to throw confetti and shout with great joy and enthusiasm about the incredible things the Lord has done. The picture will be astounding and you will marvel at its beauty. You know you will. You will stand in wonder at the way He provided far beyond your wildest dreams and you will thank Him for being a Good Father – because HE IS the covenant God and the keeper of promises. You know it is true. You want Him to write your story because it is the BEST STORY possible. So keep stepping forward, keep trusting, keep living in obedience by faith. Keep asking Him to be abundantly near in the midst of your circumstances. Keep opening your Bible and listening to those podcasts. Ask Him to reveal how you can live out His plan and purpose even in the midst of the longing and waiting because you know He is at work even if you can’t see ANYTHING HAPPENING. Keeping throwing bridal showers and baby showers and going to kids parties because it is WHO YOU ARE and you don’t want to lose the best parts of you in the midst of the storm. And remember it’s ok to sneak off in the corner to shed a tear because your heart still hurts a little bit when you think about how much you wish you had a husband or a baby of your own. You are a human after all. You’re doing your very best here. And Shell, you’re not alone – you are abundantly and richly loved by many – so don’t believe the lies you hear in your head. You are seen even when it feels bleak and dark, so reach for that phone and make a plan with someone if you need to – you’re not a burden – it’s ok to need or want a friend even if that friend DOES have a husband and /or a child – you’re not a second-class citizen because you’re single. You’re still fun and valuable and worthy of quality time. This hasn’t been your favorite season and it has been endlessly long. But keep walking, keep living and embracing it the best you can. Live fully and grow forward. As people keep telling you, (maybe) THIS is your year.