Over the weekend I read the book 828. By the title alone I gathered that the book would be about how the Lord works all things together for good - a message of hope - and one my heart really needs to hear at this particular moment in time. And yet as I sit and reflect on the underlying current and message, the truth is the book was really about suffering - perhaps even CHOOSING suffering - for in that place, the beauty of Christ and His purest, unending love was found to be faithful and enough. It is probably fair to say we would like to walk through life unscathed, and yet we are promised this will not be the case. We are guaranteed in this world we will have trouble, but take heart, He has overcome. We have been reminded to rejoice in our suffering knowing that it produces endurance, which produces character, which produces hope - and hope does not put us to shame. WE WILL SUFFER.
828 is the story of Ian and Larissa - they met in college and fell in love - before the car accident that left Ian in a coma - ultimately diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury and catastrophic physical and cognitive losses. Larissa was already in love with Ian and as she prayed and sought the Lord, He deepened her desire to stand by him even if there was no other side. The story ends with Larissa marrying Ian (and that isn’t a spoiler by the way, it’s in the intro) with “in sickness and health” removed from their vows knowing the “in health” would never be a reality of their married life. She didn’t marry a man who could take care of her in the practical ways, but she married the man the Lord set apart for her, and the man the Lord purposed for her, and the man who daily shows her more about the character of Christ and helps her grow in His likeness. They chose suffering - and they reveal His glory.
Their journey was laced with heartbreak and loss and their story is an inspiration. I relate to so much of it even though our situations look so very different. I constantly found myself underlining and highlighting and turning up corners, my heart empty and dry and somewhat lost in a desert season of my own. I might not be watching the love of my life suffer in a hospital bed, trapped in his own body, but I am wondering what story the Lord is writing with my life and beyond question it is easy to feel like this life looks nothing like I ever anticipated. In turning to Him for the answers to the deepest and most painful questions, we find He is waiting in the sorrow, and gently reminding us that He is good and in His time, He will fulfill every purpose He has for us in beautiful and extraordinary ways.
Love doesn't give up. Love keeps going.
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Even if my heart and head are a mess, a hibernating truth exists somewhere down below all the layers of confusion- a truth that tells me He is for me because He died for me. Below the messiness of loss is the permanence of the gift and the Giver.
Living right next to fear is the very real excitement that God isn't finished. Even in the most desperate times, He keeps us from sinking into total despair. With each exhalation of fear, breathe in more of God as He moves in you!
I'm human, so hope doesn't always come easily. I will wrestle for contentment in my heart hoping God will change my situation but knowing even if He doesn't, I will still be ok.
What we can't always see in the lonely days and moments of despair is that God is emptying space in our hearts and refilling it with Himself, letting us see Him in small moments of joy.
Are you pushing hard to do what you feel is expected of you by man? God is the only one who is going to get you through this.
Waiting is where beauty and character grows.
I am walking in step with a God who is bigger than me and whose purposes cannot be turned awry. His enjoyment of me has nothing to do with my works.
Losses met by well-timed graces mingled themselves into a heart that was sorrowful yet tried to always be rejoicing.
Being a faithful friend means tackling the effort because that kind of love is willing to encompass all challenges.
The path has already been laid out. Simply lay back and let mercy carry you.
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. Ps. 138:8
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