Monday, February 29, 2016

thoughts on friendship {nobody's cuter than you}

Contrary to what I so often represent on this blog, I actually DO read books (in addition to watching a ridiculous amount of somewhat questionable television and listening to copious quantities of podcasts) and have always loved to read. Do any of y’all remember those amazing contests in elementary school where you would earn personal pan pizzas for reading? I was the QUEEN of those! Anyway, I finished a book over the weekend because the weather was absolutely delightful and beckoned me to grab my World Changers quilt and an iced coffee and come outside to read - and for the first time in a really long time - I actually had the space in my life to listen! 

I finished the most heartwarming book, “Nobody’s Cuter than You” by Melanie Shankle, the author of the Big Mama blog. It’s a memoir about the beauty of friendship and anyone who knows me knows #friendsaremypeople. I am so grateful the Lord has been abundantly gracious to me and allowed me to walk closely alongside some of the most extraordinarily beautiful women I have ever met. “You hear so many people talk about finding their soul mates only in relation to who they marry, but I think that, as women, our real soul mates are often found when we recognize some version of ourselves in someone else.” I have been gifted with friends who truly feel more like family, who through the most beautiful and heart wrenching moments of my life have found ways to see me through. I am almost 31 and don’t have a husband. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I know the meaning of loneliness and longing. And yet these women have been my nearest and dearest. They have heard my heart, wiped my tears, carried my pain and made me laugh until it hurts more times than I can count. They have let me celebrate their joys, meet their husbands, hold their babies, and sit on their couches (sometimes way too late into the night). We have talked about utter ridiculousness like nail polish colors and lippy love and also the deepest and most profound parts of our hearts. We have shared countless meals and celebrated many a birthday or Christmas together. They are the very best part of life. They see the good, the bad, the beautifully ordinary, they know my ugly and yet they love me even still and often champion for the me I sometimes cannot even see. "A good friend will love you, support you, and cheer you on A good friend doesn't make you feel inadequate or like you're not good enough. A good friend won't dump you when someone better comes along or ask you to compromise who you are and what you believe. There are few things in life worth having as much as a few close friends, and it's worth trading popularity for authenticity.It's worth going deeper and finding people who will love you for your real, authentic, broken self."

Throughout the years, I have had to let some I’ve loved walk away, it has broken me and left me kneeling at the cross asking for His healing. That loss has also helped me realize the treasure it is to have true friends and the importance of loving them well. "Ultimately, the only way to immerse yourself in true, deep friendship is to be willing to jump in with both feet, arms wide open, for whatever it will be." I don’t love wondering if I will get hurt. I know the answer to that question. Humanity is a painful reality and yet we have the love of a Savior and in that love we get to give away pieces of our hearts. We get to entrust ourselves to the care of others and we get to see Him do things far more beautiful than we could have ever imagined. Loving is worth the cost. Walking through life together is worth the tears, worth the hard conversations, worth the growing that is required. And it is the good kind of hard. "Some roads we travel in life can feel like the ones that might break us but that's why God surrounds us with people who will cheer us on and wipe our tears and listen as we pour out our hearts. Because often, it's not what you say but what you do that really matters." Throughout the years, I have learned to show up, to love well, to pour out, to come close, to draw near. I have learned how to pray consistently, to listen often, to say less, to be intentional and consistent, to write their things on my heart and attempt to remember them later. I have learned to respond when the Spirit nudges and to DO that thing He asks because chances are that thing really does matter. I have learned the blessing of mourning when they mourn and rejoicing when they rejoice. 

So… to Anna, to Emy, to Carrie, to Mands, to J and to Shanzie, and to the many others who have held my heart and helped me navigate this life… I would not be the woman I am today without you. Thank you for teaching me so much about my heart, about how to love well, about what it means to celebrate others and the joy it is to cherish the people the Lord has placed in our path. Thank you for allowing me to be broken and honest and loving me through my flaws. Thank you for seeing the best in me and cheering me on. Thank you for feeling like home. " 'Your friendship was a miracle-wonder, love far exceeding anything I've known - or hope to know' (2 Samuel 1:26, The Message). Ultimately, that's what God has given us in the people he has placed in our lives as He knits our souls with theirs: a miracle. A grace-filled, life-changing, soul-refreshing miracle..."

Now…go read the book, obviously it’s worth it…so so worth it…and love well…because my gosh friendship is a gift in abundance and a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends! 

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