Friday, December 10, 2010

i laughed...hard!

oh man...THIS is what happens to you when you become an "adult" ALL of the below statements become SO VERY TRUE...

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm front.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this - ever.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

2 comments:

Amber McGaughey said...

HYSTERICAL! Sean and I laughed a lot. I like the fitted sheet one, and the one about pants never getting dirty, and the one about realizing your work day will no longer be productive... pretty much love them all!

Anonymous said...

I definitely laughed hard! The only thing missing was something about maternity clothes ;) hehehehe! Thanks for the laugh!