the last w letter - before we are together.

Dear William.

Today is July 13. It has been 11 months since we said goodbye. And it is less than 1 month until we will say hello… again.

In the secret spaces of my heart I prayed that I would see you on Sunday, August 12…exactly one year after our goodbye. I knew I had to be at Pastor Joseph’s church in the event you were there. I knew I would search the faces of every child who entered the door looking for you. I wouldn’t let go of hope until after that church service was complete…and even then, I knew a small part of me would hold onto a tiny shred until I boarded the plane for home. 

I printed a picture of us from last year and it is tucked in my Kinyarwanda Bible. I know I can’t bring you an actual gift, but that photo says Ndagukunda across the front, which means I love you and I have long hoped to give it to you or at least leave it with Bob for delivery on my behalf. Sweet boy, YOU ARE SPECIAL, you’re MY WILLIAM. 

What I still can’t envision is what it will really be like to see you again after so much time has passed. I wonder if you’ll really remember me. I have no doubt God used you to change my story - but I can’t know how our week together changed you. That is yours and yours alone. No words can be exchanged to describe it. I also had no idea God had prepared and purposed another week together. It is richer than anything I could have dreamed. I didn’t know you would be coming back to camp. I didn’t know that again we would share meals, and you would hear more stories, and make more crafts, and we would get to DANCE together until our feet can't move for one more beat. It is all too good. 

I can’t picture arriving at camp and having you there…getting to introduce you to the new members of the team…feeling your hand slip back into mine. Taking your cheeks in my hands and looking deep into your eyes as mine fill with tears of extraordinary joy and gratitude that can be expressed no other way. 

This life may not be what I ever expected, what I ever even hoped for; but I know that THIS - that YOU - are a gift from God and I will not miss this moment. I will not forgo this opportunity to shake my tambourine in the wilderness and rejoice in the promised land moments I know are coming. His presence is with us and He is for us and His goodness is far greater than I can comprehend. 

Thank you Father - for the richest and most abundant of gifts. 

Thank you Lord for William. 

I am coming back for you. 

-shell-