CLARK CLARK HOAD SWOPE

There is this picture from early January 2017 that has become the encapsulation of a sacred space. A moment of true belonging, of family, of home. It holds within it people who love me fully who allow me to come just as I am - broken, a mess heap, and still they see me sparkly and bright because they know my heart for Him. They push me to love Him most, to seek Him with every ounce, and to pour myself out at His feet. They live their lives in surrender. We all live exposed, vulnerable, honest, and raw. We have all cried in front of each other, and we’ve all been a little dumb too. They’re my people. They’re my inner circle. There is a truly rare beauty in being known and loved - it holds within it the definition of freedom - to let go and BE. 

Over the weekend, I spent some time on that very same couch. I didn’t take an actual picture, but mentally I caught a glimpse of the deep and profound GOOD and the tears came. I watched the Christmas tree dancing with ornaments from Rwanda - a place that we all hold dear, a country that has changed all of our hearts and taught each of us to DANCE for Jesus in a new way. I sipped on champagne from White Horse and we talked about how bubbles are the best. We pressured Jim to change the channel but knew it was a hopeless cause because football would be our entertainment for most of the evening. As the night continued on, I looked at Megan lying on the floor under that same USC blanket cuddled up with her mama Sandy, we taunted her about how she would soon be asleep but watched her attempt to fight it. We FaceTimed our Hoadies in Brazil and laughed, then hung up (it was the middle of the night after all) and called Andy and Kathleen (who would usually be right there with us but on this particular occasion were otherwise occupied since they’d greeted their son Paxon James earlier that morning) and simultaneously gushed over their amazingly cute boy. The sound of some serious snoring took over the living room and somehow even that felt precious and dear. We were together. We weren’t wearing anything fancy and we didn’t do anything special - in fact we had UBER deliver dinner - but it was perfect. 

As I sat on that couch, and thought back and looked forward, I was a smidge overwhelmed by His good and faithful provision. By the striking thought that again it doesn’t look like I expected but it is beautiful and right. Perhaps the beautiful is in the unfolding, the unveiling of best this side of heaven that doesn’t make sense to anyone else but is so evidently of Him. Whether sitting together on that same couch or serving overseas in Mozambique and Berlin - as we walk obediently and in faithful submission to our Father, He is near and somehow we are too…I didn’t know it could really be THIS GOOD.