This morning as I drove to the office, I saw a cutie little blonde with a short bob walking to school with her mom. I should say I saw her bounding and bouncing in front of her mom who was trying desperately to keep up with the energy of her adorable child. She reminded me so much of Anna’s Adelynn. That was all it took. The tears welled up. It was this surge of hope - hope that Anna and Addie Rae will have that moment someday. A momentary prayer that somehow, I will have that moment alongside my girl - whoever she may be, whatever she might look like. And simultaneous a pang of loss that Anna and I may never have that moment together.
I would be lying if I said this season isn’t full of loss. It is. I watch Anna being a mama and I ache that we don’t get to share this. I don’t share it with Anna or Emily or Amanda - my three very dearest friends. I don’t share it with Shannon or Carrie or Jenny and the list goes on and on. My heart breaks. I choose His story and I lay all of this down knowing His way is better. I do not doubt He is good. And yet the prayers and the tears still flow. “In the morning, O Lord, hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” (Psalm 5:3) Oh Lord may I wait well…and may I honor you even in that…
1 comment:
We love you, sweet Aunt Shells. And I wish I could share this season with you too... but I know that there is going to be so much joy one day when we get to meet your little one....
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