shellybean and mands...

On June 4, 2014 Rooted Beta kicked off at EvFree and I met this amazing girl named Amanda. I didn’t know it then - but she would soon become one of my best friends and someone who would touch my heart and forever change my life. Today everyone who knows me well knows about my Mands and how near and dear she is to me. She is one of my people. One of my four. She will be a matron of honor in my wedding (someday - let it be soon Lord!) and she and I will spend a lifetime loving one another whether nearby or from afar. But that is the end of the story…

On October 26, 2014 Amanda Jennifer Young, one of my very favorites and one of my closies, joined me in the world of 29-and-single. We lived well there together, sharing the weight when it felt suffocating and like no one else could understand - we knew we had each other and that was a tremendous gift. In November I shared about rooted in church but somehow the story gravitated towards the unexpected goodness and graciousness of our Father and His abundant gifts. Amanda and I met through rooted and ultimately she was the friend I didn’t even know to ask for but needed desperately. In a space of life that felt more lonely and isolated than I could have expressed, God provided Mands. We have opposite personalities, but the same heartbeat for the Lord and people. It really is a beautiful and profoundly amazing thing. As I shared that Sunday morning and Amanda sat front and center cheering me on, I announced to the entire congregation that we we were 29-and-single (which MORTIFIED my Mands who happens to hold all her cards close), I was just so overwhelmed by the amazing provision of the Lord in the midst of the hard. I have found a multitude of reasons to stand in awe since then. The Lord has been so good to me and Mands - our friendship is challenging to describe because it is infinitely more than I deserve. It is founded on truth and rooted deeply in walking together towards the Lord. Never have I had a friend who speaks truth so loudly in my life or champions for my heart in such magnificent ways. She sees me and knows me deeply and yet has chosen to stay, to love me steadfastly and somehow still thinks I am beautiful. I know I am blessed beyond measure to walk alongside her and get to share this life both the mundane and the extraordinary as her friend. The other day she called me one of her wonderfuls…I will probably never forget it. 

On March 12, 2015 I turned 30…and single. 

On June 4, 2015 Mands and I celebrated our 1st friendiversary. She posted a tribute on Facebook and it was darling. We definitely value this amazing gift the Lord has given us in one another. We do not take it lightly, and I pray that never changes! 

On October 11, 2015 I got a text message from 10 time zones away, from a guy named Tanner Wayne Roth. I had heard lots about this Tanner fellow over the past several months. The first murmurs of this guy came in May when Amanda was in the airport and with just the slightest bit of excitement in her tone she said “I’ll have to tell you about my buddy Tanner”. In June, I knew she would marry Tanner Wayne Roth. I think in God’s gracious kindness, He gave me a long time to warm up to the idea that my dear sweet friend would be moving out of our season of singleness. In the most beautiful and amazing way possible, I got to watch Amanda fall in love. Tanner has been nothing but kind to me since he and Amanda started dating - the first time we had lunch together, I drove home in tears thinking we really could all be friends. It meant so much for my heart to feel that possibility.  There is undoubtedly a sense of loss as you approach one of your bests getting married. I’ve done this before. I know what it looks like. There is an undeniably surge of joy and extreme celebration because I LOVE Mands and this is her season and her dance and I am elated. However, it is also hard to know things will inevitably change and she has a Tanner now to tell all her stories to and she won’t need me or even want me in the same ways - she will have someone else to take her time and hold her heart and even if that is SO VERY RIGHT, it leaves me in the longing a little more alone than I was before. 

When that text came in from Tanner, I had been praying daily for Mands and her husband for almost a year. I had been praying for Mands and Tanner for several months. And though his text came as a total surprise, what it contained did not. It was full of words professing his heart for Amanda and the future the Lord had prepared for them and then questions about diamond rings and a proposal that was not far off. My heart skipped a few beats and there were definitely some tears and then the prayers changed...I started to pray for Tanner - Amanda’s husband and for my sweet Mands as a wife. The weeks that followed were all kinds of fun as Tanner and I texted “covert operation style” and Amanda and I anticipated Tanner returning home from deployment and all the future could hold. She got girly and giddy and admitted she was in love and as a friend it was so fun to watch her trust her heart and let the good stuff in. 

On October 24, 2015 I went to Amanda’s birthday party eagerly anticipating her arrival - hoping for a diamond ring on her finger and fiancé Tanner Wayne Roth by her side. The celebration quickly changed from Happy Birthday to CONGRATULATIONS and joy was in abundance.

On October 26, 2015 Amanda turned 30…engaged. 

The most beautiful part of this story is that 29-and-single really was our year. I was talking to Mands on the phone the other day, and through the tears I choked out that very thought. I really can’t help but think the Lord gave us that year. Just for us. We walked it together through every peak and valley. We held one another through the storms and it built the foundation for all that is to come. We learned how to love well, how to trust, how to stay. And now even though there is a Tanner, and she is not at all single and I am VERY MUCH still in that season, there is hope. She has promised I am not losing a friend this time and I think I can believe her. On Saturday alongside a picture of an amazingly gorgeous ring on her finger, she sent me a text that said, “we both love you” and Tanner later told me he watched her send it and echoed the sentiment. I don’t know what is really in store but I know that I couldn’t be happier for my dear sweet friends and I couldn’t be more honored to have walked through this chapter with them and I am truly overjoyed and elated for the story the Lord has perfectly crafted and ordained for their future. Mands is pretty much as good as they come and Tanner has blown me away. So cheers to bridal showers and bachelorettes and wedding planning with one of my favorites. Cheers to a lifetime of loving the Lord and serving one another. Cheers to friendship that lasts far beyond the wedding day. Cheers to Tamandly (that’s Tanner, Amanda, and Shelly in combo) and countless memories and adventures - I am unspeakably grateful (apparently with a 1,336 word count)!