29

This has undoubtedly been one of the most challenging seasons of my life. I feel like I have waged war with every foreseeable opponent. From battling constant and debilitating headaches to searching endlessly for value in my once was dream job and picking up the pieces of my broken heart as friend after friend announced a new chapter and adventure in her life would soon begin. I have said goodbye to virtually every childhood dream and expectation and found myself wondering deeply when and or if I would ever have a reason to celebrate. There are days my real desires seem buried so deep that I fear even the conscious thought of them would cause an eruption within me that would render me incapable of recovery and literally destroy me. The wounds are real and raw and my heart aches in a way I don't think I knew it could. 

Nevertheless, in the midst of the darkness, I have seen fractals of light radiate around and within me. I have seen redemption and healing and restoration even within areas of my heart that I thought were whole. I have found new feet to stand on, new dreams to reach for, and new friends to walk with. I have striven to ensure that as I proceed into the vast unknown I hope for a future that though it may look far different than ever anticipated will exceed every expectation. I do not know what the future holds but I know I will not be walking into the darkness alone. There are brave and strong warriors who are champions of my heart and have proven themselves faithful even when I faltered. They will help me write my story and keep me walking forward and I will forever be grateful. 

To those who have faithfully upheld me and made the unbearable days go by, I thank you. For being present and lovingly embracing me exactly where I am. You are part of my journey and I love living life with you!