It is sometimes overwhelming to me that God has given me such an enormous capacity for love and emotion. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Ergo, it makes perfect sense that God would allow me to truly do just that. However, I feel like somewhat of an anomaly in that regard. Most people have feelings in relation to things or people that are directly connected to their lives. I have deep and moving feelings for people and their circumstances regardless of how attached to them I am. This morning I was reading a blog about a 32-year-old man who passed away after a tragic accident. He lived for 4 weeks in the hospital prior to having a massive and catastrophic hemorrhage in his brain that ultimately took his life. He is survived by his wife and son who are both deeply grieving and mourning their loss. As I read their story and took in the words of his wife as she attempts to say goodbye to her husband and the father of her child and move forward with life, I was overcome by a wave of sorrow…I did not cry, but I felt my heart clench and my spirit grieve. I have never met the Lamberth family – there is a very VERY distant connection – my friend Jenni from college was roommates with Robyn - and Robyn married into the Lamberth family. It is a somewhat strange feeling to be so moved for people that I don’t even know…the sadness feels somewhat empty in that I am helpless – I cannot offer condolences or be of any real encouragement. I have never felt as though I have the gift of mercy – however, as I continue to grow and develop in the Lord, perhaps He is manifesting Himself through that area of my life. My dad has told me since I was a little girl that my capacity for love is my greatest gift and my most painful curse. It often times gets the better of me and causes me to hurt deeply; nevertheless, it also allows me to love truly and powerfully and to give my heart to those I love. I do not know the path that my future will take –but I have no doubt that I will encounter many moments when my love will transcend all connections and be a blessing from the Lord in the lives of others. What a beautiful blessing – and how daunting a task.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
my capacity for love...
It is sometimes overwhelming to me that God has given me such an enormous capacity for love and emotion. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Ergo, it makes perfect sense that God would allow me to truly do just that. However, I feel like somewhat of an anomaly in that regard. Most people have feelings in relation to things or people that are directly connected to their lives. I have deep and moving feelings for people and their circumstances regardless of how attached to them I am. This morning I was reading a blog about a 32-year-old man who passed away after a tragic accident. He lived for 4 weeks in the hospital prior to having a massive and catastrophic hemorrhage in his brain that ultimately took his life. He is survived by his wife and son who are both deeply grieving and mourning their loss. As I read their story and took in the words of his wife as she attempts to say goodbye to her husband and the father of her child and move forward with life, I was overcome by a wave of sorrow…I did not cry, but I felt my heart clench and my spirit grieve. I have never met the Lamberth family – there is a very VERY distant connection – my friend Jenni from college was roommates with Robyn - and Robyn married into the Lamberth family. It is a somewhat strange feeling to be so moved for people that I don’t even know…the sadness feels somewhat empty in that I am helpless – I cannot offer condolences or be of any real encouragement. I have never felt as though I have the gift of mercy – however, as I continue to grow and develop in the Lord, perhaps He is manifesting Himself through that area of my life. My dad has told me since I was a little girl that my capacity for love is my greatest gift and my most painful curse. It often times gets the better of me and causes me to hurt deeply; nevertheless, it also allows me to love truly and powerfully and to give my heart to those I love. I do not know the path that my future will take –but I have no doubt that I will encounter many moments when my love will transcend all connections and be a blessing from the Lord in the lives of others. What a beautiful blessing – and how daunting a task.
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Scott Lamberth was my old CGroup leader... they went to OCC... the church plant
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